Congress Circles the Drain
by Tim SlagleWell here we are in the middle of the worst economy in almost a century, wars on two fronts, and a monster oil spill turning our southern coast into asphalt. And what is Congress busy on? Solving gender discrimination in restrooms.
Last month, the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee held hearings on the Restroom Gender Parity in Federal Buildings Act (H.R. 4869). If ever there has been an argument against a full time legislature, this was it; apparently our Legislature has far too much time to kill.
It comes as no surprise to anyone who has ever seen the line outside the women’s room at a sporting event, or waited in a movie lobby with the other guys: women take longer in the restroom than men.
Rep. Elijah Cummings claimed that women are treated as second-class citizens. In the facilities I’ve seen, that is clearly it is not the case. Women’s facilities are always better. (Do women think we have sports bars in there?) Sometimes we don’t even have “toilets” just a wall with a drain at the bottom.
To hear some of America’s brightest minds discuss the situation you would think it’s a patriarchal plot to hold women down, by refusing to install adequate facilities in Federal buildings. That way when important bills are being voted on, women legislators would be waiting in line at the restrooms.
You can’t get men to hang out in bathrooms. There are certain places men just don’t like to linger: restrooms, malls, and screenings of Sex in the City. Part of this has to do with simple biology. Whereas lower animals use scent to mark their territory, civilized men have evolved with the ability to write their name in the snow.
Critics claim that restrooms are one of the few remaining segregated spaces in the American landscape. Well, yeah. In deference to Brown v. Board of Education, I think that separate is the only way things can be equal. You young feminists, just wait until you start sharing share a stall wall with the fellas (and you thought Larry Craig had a wide stance).
And while we’re at it, what are we going to do about the handicap segregation? Am I the only non-disabled American who prefers the handicap stall? I think that we should also be provided with the full sized comfort, that today is only available to the disabled
It’s not really the lack of facilities; it’s the time it takes women. We can’t make women stand up, so lets force men to sit down. We can put alarms on the toilets, so if a man attempts to assert his dominance over the porcelain, a Federal agent can be alerted to the crime. That way we’ll be the nation of sitzpinklers the radical Feminists envisioned long ago.
Some things will never be equal, like love of car crashes, appetite for chili fries, or attendance to the Women’s NBA. We don’t wait in line for the restroom; you get to wear halter-tops.
It all works out in the end.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
70 Comments
Progressive policy is in the toilet !!
How many Libtards does it take to flush a toilet ? None — they claim they are trying to save water. Libs think that when you flush a toilet, the water is lost to earth and mankind, forever.
Congress Circles The Drain?
QUICK!
Somebody pull the handle and flush them……………
Meanwhile, as CONgress tries to solve the restroom dilema and create equality, figuring out how to categorize Barney Frank, and find the appropriate stall for him has them stumped.
Love it.
And for their effort they get paid nearly $200000 a year, the best health care that can be bought (and you will never have) and a great retirement plan.
You citizens are lucky to be able to eat.
No get back to work supporting your betters.
Tim, you dropped the "D"!
Rep. Elijah Cummings is a Democrat. No surprise, but how could you leave that out?
Whew….this topic scared me for a minute I thought they were going to ban restrooms altogether. Thank you Jesus!!!
Potty Parity this week $400,000,000 for TERRORISTS next.
"Rep. Elijah Cummings claimed that women are treated as second-class citizens." Not at all, that is reserved for American TAXPAYERS you fool.
Enjoy LADIES this is the only "COMFORT" we will get from REGIME OBAMA!
I bet Barnyard sits to take a leak. The Frank-enstein then needs to have a smoke — purple-kush that is.
The title of the article is an apt metaphor for our lawmakers. While we're "dyin down here" the liberal-led congress is enacting even more "crappy" legislation. An idea…. maybe these idiots can meet every four years instead of 24/7. Speaking of toilets, watching the inept, lib-led congress makes me feel like the proverbial "fly on the tiolet bowl"……..pissed off.
And just think of the $$$ it will cost to change every restroom sign in every Govt. owned building in the world. Funny as this all sounds (and it does!) everything these fools do costs all of us $$$. It will be big $$$ because instead of have the signs changed during modernization, upgrade or new construction so the cost will run over several years they will mandate change by a certain date causing all kinds of CHAOS and higher costs. Our elected officials (I prefer the term MORON's) can't even do stupid stuff right.
I feel for you ladies who have to wait in line at every event I've ever been to, and have made the comment (To younger ladies) that this is a great reason why more women sould become Architects! The looks I get!
Sign on the House mens room: "Men Only (you too, Barney)"
Ancient Rome at its most decadent and in total free fall was never this absurd.
It's official. When government- AT ANY LEVEL- is holding hearings and making laws about this sort of sh!t (an apt term), they have clearly run out of more important sh!t to do and need to pack up and go home. Evidently every other real problem has been completely solved and it's time to call it a day.
Man, I will hold it if the morons make restrooms gender neutral. If I accidentally walk into the men's bathroom, I run out in a hurry!
If restrooms are integrated, will there be a fine for leaving the seat up ?
Do these feminazi's not get the fact that they could be using a bathroom stall next to a convicted rapist looking for his next victim?
Ah yes.
The Circus Maximus continues.
Observing CONgress is akin to observing the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They sit in thye shade eating peanuts, mutually masturbating themselves, while throwing feces at the wall to see what sticks.
You tell 'em.
Time for them to pack up their shit and go home!
I'd second that motion.
.
When restroom disparity becomes criminal, only criminals will give a crap.
.
[...] More… SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Why Congress should only meet for 6 months out of the year", url: "http://ramparts360.com/congress/why-congress-should-only-meet-for-6-months-out-of-the-year/" }); [...]
this is of upmost importance, the constitution has a article in there giving congress the right to make sure our toilets are the most free and equal in the world, and as such have a committee on toilets and urinals. the toilets and urinal committee has already regulated the amount of water in our toilets, why do you think this important committee would stop there. they are also considering a flush tax, that is why they made toilets that don't work first, why else would the make perfectly good toilets suck so much? i guess iran nukeing up, our broke government, and runaway immigration problems can wait, we need toilet equity now!
We'll have to put a sign up that says….
If you sprinkle while you tinkle
Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie
UGH.
WOW
And how pathetic we look to the world
Most of what is coming out of this Congress should be flushed, so it is appropriate for them to take up this important issue. I sure right now they are focused on the important issues:
Are the toilets American made? If so, should they take over the manufacturer?
Should we impose standards or regulations to make sure that the water is not wasted and flow rates are consistent? This of course will raise the cost of the toilet unnecessarily, but that hasn't stopped them in the past.
Should some toilets for some states get special exceptions to make sure the bill passes?
Are the toilets green enough?
Are they made by "UNION" workers?
They are also most likely making sure that this "discrimination" can be blamed on failures of the last 8 years… oops.. I mean the 8 years before we took over… oops, I mean… oh hell… Everything is Bush's fault!
These calls for integrated restrooms are not made by straight women. Women who have a man in the house know what we can do to the family commode with only ten minutes and a newspaper. The only people who want men and women to share restrooms are angry lesbians that want to "hang out with the boys", and gay men that want to mince and mingle in the powder room with the girls.
As for men having more toilets, Tim hit the nail on the head. We stand up, so we require less room and less privacy. When women learn to pee in a trough next to 40 strangers in a ball park, they won't have to stand in line to use the toilet.
gather them up and use em to plug the dang hole in the gulf…in lieu of congress rosie could be used all by herself…lol
Thank you, Tim, for the opportunity to engage in a little low-brow toilet humor. I think I'll take a pass this time. It's all been pretty much covered.
keeping congress from doing anything would save us billions!!
I'll betcha he squats like a school girl peeing in an alley……….
and where does the transgender go? i suppose that could go either way, huh?
Why do the women on the signs only have one leg? Does that mean that two-legged women can't use the restrooms?
Do we really want creepy ol' uncle Earl in the stall next to our teenage daughters? Or perv boy w/ his vidcam?
I don't believe this shit………………………………
isn't he a member of the congressional white caucas? oh, i keep forgetting, it's the black caucas. i still don't know what they are going to do when black republicans win this fall. i don't remember j.c. watt being welcomed to the cbc, and i think the first black republican elected this fall, should bust up this racket. and say either there is a white caucas, or no race specific caucas. i would also bet the cbc members have white and hispanic constituents, and they are never even consider with that bunch.
Mr. Slagle writes……"To hear some of America’s brightest minds discuss the situation"
Surely Mr. Slagle, you didn't mean our Congress!!
You mean those Roman savages didn't have a handicapped-transgendered only stall in the Vomitorium? No wonder their civilization went the way of the dinosaur.
Good question! My guess is, they can't read, so I figure they can't count past 1 either.
Now that's kicking the satire Old School.
I salute a Master!
Once we solve the "potty parity" problem, can we get them on a law to require men to wear halter tops?
Seriously, be careful what you wish for…If we didn't have them working on nonsense, they would have more time to find ways to torture us on much bigger things!
Tim I couldn't disagre with you more. The Handicap stall is the worst place to go. Its too high off the ground and you cant plant your feet.
their legs are clenched together because they have to pee so bad!
ok, more bathroom humor…
about 15-20 yrs ago, my brother & i were out to dinner with our dad. he returns from the men's room and asks, "What the hell is up with the knee high urinals?" we told him it's because of the Americans with Disabilities Act. He says, "Since when is having a really long dick considered a disability?"
I am all for limiting Congress to only four months of work and paying them 25% of what they make now.
Either that or I start pissing on toilet seats…
i havent seen a woman yet that would step foot in a mens restroom as most of the time they are totaly disgusting. thats why men spend as little time possible in one.
news flash, folks! this isn't new. a buddy of mine worked as a janitor at a local Community College about 10 years ago, and they were studying "potty parity" back then. complaint was that there are more toilets in the mens' rooms than there are in the woman's. the reason is that urinals take up less space than toilets, because there is no stall required. my buddy was actually called to attend a meeting with the President of the College and the Board of Trustees concerning this "problem". his solution: install urinals in the women's room, which would make everything equal.
Let's just put a sign on the door that says "first come, first served" or just "his" and "hers". That should eliminate any problems. If they don't speak English, tough. Remember these are government bathrooms we're talking about. With that thought in mind, locate a corn cob dispenser in every stall.Otherwise let the employees bring their own brand. I'm sick and tired of public service unions.
Elijah Cummings is a friggin' idiot. He's right up there with the congressman who testified against Marine manuevers on Guam recently because he was afraid the island would tip over. You can't make this stuff up.
I can't believe that with the amount of bull our congress throws around they need restrooms at all. A broom, a dust pan, and a zip lock baggie would be more appropriate.
Oh wow. Words fail – I can't believe this is an actual bill!
28 co-sponsors… really? This is my new favorite example of how the government is too big. Gender-equality of restrooms… they actually have to go count toilets? Wow.
Not just that, I don't want to be in the john listening to some woman grunting out a nasty, only to find it is the hottest chick in the building. Talk about a mood killer.
That is better than my idea.
The best thing I came up with, was to send the Great Barracker down below, on a piece of dental floss to inspect it………
Cowboy, that is the best description of denizens of Congress I've heard to date.
You'd be surprised by the women’s bathroom then. Most women are afraid to sit on the seat and end up urinating all over the seat. It is more likely that the men toilets have a dry seat.
[...] » Congress Circles the Drain – Big Government [...]
Is staff a different gender?
I cant believe this is real, I mean really. Is this what our congress is debating over, when we have say I dont know, a massive oil spill, a war or two, and a immigration problem.
We need to do alot of voting soon to get these worthless mental cases out of congress and put in people with real common sense and have actually read and understood the Constitution to.
It would only be fair to institute a fine for leaving it down as well. As a woman who has had more male roomates than female and I have actually learned that *I* can put the seat down just as well as anyone else.
Oh sh*t that's funny!!!
This is almost as absurd as the congressional hearings concerning baseball a few years ago. I get the feeling they are trying to distract us again.
Can't you just hear old Nero's violin playing in the distance?
Sounds a lot like our legislature here in Louisiana. Every time you turn around they are debating such monumental issues like the new state casserole instead of ways to save the taxpayers money.
The real story is that restrooms are the last place men can go to get away from women whining about everything, up to and including restrooms!
Yeah the signs are $2000 each and cost another $400 to install…..government in-action at its worst.
I can't wait for integrated bathrooms! Those feminists are gonna be sitting on my urine because I'm gonna urinate on the seat all the time,
What a bunch of crap!
[...] » Congress Circles the Drain – Big Government [...]
[...] » Congress Circles the Drain – Big Government [...]
[...] » Congress Circles the Drain – Big Government [...]
Websites worth visiting…
[...]here are some links to sites that we link to because we think they are worth visiting[...]……
puppy breeders The model of these blogging engines and CMS platforms is the demand of limitations and comfortableness of touch that allows developers to obligate tasteful volume and ‘skin’ the situation in such a way that with really soft endeavour o…
The model of these blogging engines and CMS platforms is the want of limitations and help of that allows developers to implement lavish content and ‘skin’ the place in much a way that with rattling slight toil one would never attention what it is makin…
You must be logged in to post a comment.