The Republicans’ ‘Hip Gap’
by Rep. Thaddeus G. McCotter (R-MI)It permeates the public’s consciousness and Big Media obsessively promotes the perception to our detriment. Yet, like a canker on a suitor, polite Republicans won’t discuss it. No longer, however, can we pretend the issue doesn’t exist. It does and, though painful to admit, we must confront the truth.
Republicans have a “hip gap.”
This is not to say Democrats are hip. People who squander their precious breaths of life poring over Das Kapital, practicing rhythmic chanting with Kindergarten lyrics, chaining themselves to national monuments and/or writing memoirs prior to accomplishing anything are utter stiffs. They can only pass themselves off as cool in comparison to…well, us.
Oh sure, we’d like to think this is just another slanderous Leftist attack on Republicans. But, let’s be honest: a large gaggle of GOPers have yet to put a toenail into the Twenty-First Century’s cultural crosscurrents – or, for that matter, the Nineteenth’s.
Still, let us not curse the darkness. Let us light a cultural candle to illume our whereabouts upon the path to hipness. Thus, the following is a True or False pop culture test. Anything less than 100% – or if you ask the cat next to you for help – scientifically proves you are part of the hopelessly unhip GOPast and should stay holed up in your internet-less study a-rhythmically tapping your white wing tips to that “risqué” Scott Joplin 78 rpm blaring from your Victrola.
So without further adieu, away we go:
1. This is Spinal Tap is a medical documentary.
2. George Clinton leads the British Parliament.
3. An iPod holds contact lenses.
4. Dick Cheney gave no-bid contracts to Dunder-Mifflin.
5. Ginger Baker was marooned with Mary Ann Summers on Gilligan’s Island.
6. Michiganders call an outhouse a “twitter.”
7. If left untreated, pinkeye degenerates into Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld.
8. C. Montgomery Burns runs the Federal Reserve.
9. Shakira is served on a skewer.
10. Andrew Breitbart’s Big Hollywood is an “art film.”
Bonus/Trick question: Alice Cooper is a dude.
What’s that, you say? “Where are the answers?”
If you have to ask….
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204 Comments
Conservatives take entertainment and turn it into tools to make money, in the true Capitalistic way.
Now, Congressman, that was funny.
#11. Moby Dick is a venereal disease.
True Conservatives are usually too busy to be hip. There is work, family, chores around the house, civic duties, etc. there just isn't time left to hang out in bars, do drugs, go to wild concerts and all.
'if you ask the CAT next to you' You gave yourself away, Mr. Dobie Gillis.
I'm surprised a republican congressman can be funny. Must be the water in Michigan. LOL
#12 The Raconteurs was the nick name of one of the infamous Chicago 'families' in the early 30's.
Great job Congressman McCotter. I believe 7 & 8 are tue all others are false. LOL
How about doing us a favor and running for POTUS in 2012?
Mr. Burns never would have bailed out the presidents campaign contributors on Wall St. – that would be too greedy for him. Please ask Pinch when you get a chance; Didn't Ginger Baker have an Air Force? Great job congressman.
BRAVO!!!!! That was pure entertainment.
Love McCotter, on The Dennis Miller Show he has been very clever and very funny…( hope this doesn't prove how 'Hip' I am) thanks Thadeus
I don't care if my reps are hip, so long as they're genuine. Plastic hipness is more off-putting than an honest to goodness dork. ____Lucky for you that you're hip and genuine (and you're also in my top 3 of Dennis Miller guests) , but not everyone can be that lucky.____That Potus in '12 suggestion is something to mull. Would be nice to have a relatable straight-shooter after this last year of madness. ____
A nice light-hearted assesment of the right-wing Mr. McCotter but, when what you stand for needs no extravagance to explain, some tend to find it boring. Those on the Left need to utilize every means of communication, and form of media avialable, in order to overwhelm our senses with rubbish, in hopes it will eventually stick. I don't want my elected officials to be "hip"…I just want them to do their damn jobs, and not worry about all the high schoolish drama that goes with todays marketing environment. Republicans may be boring, but for the most part, that is how we like them…Eye's on the target…!
Sensationalism may buy votes, but it doesn't benefit the constituents one bit. Vanity has no place in politics…!
Whereas Democrats ARE tools with money?
Is it bad that I read the headline and assumed it was a story on hip-replacement surgery?
We have a "hip gap"? Good.
Kind of gives away your age. LOL
Should i worry, I knew all of them?
Glad to have you representing my state, sir, and love seeing you on "Redeye". To those who value function over form, I agree, but image matters, and nowhere more than politics. And there is nothing in the rules that says a sober dedication to one's ideals and constituents precludes a sense of humor or a good wardrobe.
McCotter, ever think of writing for SNL?
Bars, drugs and concerts are no longer "hip". Don't know that they ever were.
There's acting cool, and then there's BEING cool. The people who do their own thing when everyone else around them ridicules their efforts and mocks their enthusiasm are always cool. People who stand up for what they believe against a majority that tries to shut them down are cool. Sounds like the party to be at is the TEA party!
Intelligent, nice people are usually gifted with a working sense of humor.
The bonus/trick question was true!
Alice Cooper really is a guy and probably insired that kid from The Wonder Years to become "Marilyn Manson" (yet another dude).
I'm just hangin' back until Disco returns. In the meantime, I'll stay here firing zingers at liberals.
Hip is like dessert after a healthy meal.
Brad Pitt was married to_________________? (dessert)
The nine supreme court justices are_______? (meat and veggies)
It is a myth that Conservatives are not consumed with popular culture. They complain about Hollywood all day, and then line up in the evening to watch American Idol and reruns of How I Met Your Mother.
I'm not sure why people with artistic talent trend liberal/progressive, but god bless em… no one wants to watch a bunch of angry rednecks dancing around and trying to be funny. Ok, I'll give you Dennis Miller and the giterdone guy.
It's not the age, it's the mileage.
Hip Gap, eh? How about running Lady Ga Ga for Art and Music Director at the NEA?
That'd shake 'em up……….
I agree, although there is a large segment of our society that sadly believe you have to be into "stuff" in order to be cool.
With all due respect Mr McCotter, all my conservative friends are on the cutting edge of culture, not back in bobby socks at the 1950s High school prom…
That conservatives lack "cool" is a great big misdirection.
I submit that the album title was selected as a self-portrait. I was a NARAS member for 20 years and got so sick of the BS Grammies being a liberal outlet for bad records and boobs (not a body part) that I quit sending them dues five years ago. I am a record producer (in the traditional sense). I am a conservative. I used to be a Democrat for no apparent reason. I like great records. Somewhere along the way 90% of the great recordings became synonymous with liberal grandstanding. It is now an honor to NOT be nominated for a Grammy.
Luckily, Rep. McCotter appears regularly on Red Eye, so his hipness is already assured…
Hey Sheriff_Bart…maybe you want to check out a great conservative band…?
http://www.myspace.com/blistur
Listen to their song 'Religion of Sin'…
If that's the definition of "cool," then I'm the coolest person around here and no one recognizes that.
Seriously, it's not cool to do your own thing, but it should be.
In a way, Big Hollywood is a sort of art film focusing on the absurdist theatre of the left….
Check out the new version of "Mmm Mmm Mmm Barack Hussein Obama" at: http://www.myspace.com/rogerweber
You'll get a laugh! By the way, this song was recorded by a VERY hip conservative rock singer.
I think I've heard/read quotes that also suggest Alice Cooper is a Republican or at least believes strongly that celebrities have no serious place commenting on politics.
Jon Voight's daughter.
The SCOTUS is running around naked throwing ice water.
Typically earned the "old fashion" way- inherited
Gunsburg, Brier, Kennedy, Stevens, Sotomayor, Alito, Roberts, Scalia, Thomas
I didn't Google that so it may be wrong. Does this mean I'm not hip?
And Pitt married Aniston, divorced her, and now lives with Angelina Jolie (I don't think they've married despite having three kids together).
The Battle of the Bulge is a diet plan.
The lives of young people is dominated by the internet, and since the paramount philosophy of the internet has been said to be distinctly individualist (this as early as the mid-nineties, and even then it was obvious), with its tract toward transparency, free information, and D.I.Y., I contend that the gap is hardly as wide as the MSM may exaggerate. Look at how the youth comes out for Ron Paul, hardly a giant of the "hip." Perhaps there is merely a natural distance between the pop culture cool and any boring, gray politician.
Very funny Rep. McCotter. Who knew you were a comedian? Don't forget that Huey Lewis says "It's hip to be square"!
LOL
I do not know what a hip gap is, unless you mean the space into which you insert the replacement parts for on an ancient Republican. This, according to MTV.
This particular fiscal conservative, though, after working 10 hours yesterday, watched AC-DC in concert on the flat screen at 10 pm last night as I put an hour on the stationary bike in training for my first triathlon of the season. This, while nursing bruises and swollen joints after incurring a beating in the half pipe and terrain park at my local ski area over the weekend. My I –pod includes, Johnny Nash, The Silversun Pickups, Pete Yorn, Marley, Buffet, Fall Out Boy, The Killers, Springsteen, Michael Franti, Gomez, and Kid Rock, as a sampling. And, I knew Dunder Mifflin when it was Wernham Hogg. Guess what? I also read Hayek, Rand, Churchill, Shlaes, Dawkins, Manchester, etc. Oh, and late Friday night I coached my son’s baseball team in a double header in winter league play.
Yes, conservatives have a coolness gap. But only because we let someone else define cool. Or, witht the exception of the above paragraph maybe it is because we do not advertise live our lives as if we live in a nudist colony.
Lazy Jack
http://www.thanksforthelaughs.wordpress.com
Isn't he a singer?
HA! It's a little early in the morning for that one. Darn near spit tea through my nose and onto the keyboard. ;-D
I'm so glad to see that at least three of us still call them "records" and "albums".
Those of us old enough to remember why double-album covers were useful are also old enough to remember real punk, as opposed to lame suburban pseuds like Green Day.
And David Mamet.
It's not "people with artistic talent" who trend left, but people who make their living in a Land of Make-Believe; most especially those who jumped straight from waiting tables to red carpets and limos and Rodeo Drive and borrowed Harry Winston jewels, and sort of completely jumped over the middle class. Only the poor and the rich can afford liberalism: the rest of us have to pay for it.
Oh yeah? I am a conservative and I know ALL THE WORDS TO "CONVOY"!!!
Thaddeus has the gift.
Yes, which he had blind faith in.
There is a 'common sense gap" on the other side, which may correlate directly to the degree of their 'hipness'.
You've got some ancient mentions there McCotter….Ginger Baker. Spinal Tap, George Clinton,….
Have you updated your hip yet?
Hipness is the ultimate expression of narcissism.
Jon Voight's daughter?
very good! just misspelled Ginsberg.
You can have dessert.
I propose we close this 'hip gap' by building up our strategic culture reserves and calling it 'cool'. God knows I can't deal with the alternative, which is to sit through 'Avatar' and the SAG awards till my eyes bleed.
C. Montgomery Burn running the Fed …excellent! Release the hounds!
What most people call hip I call stupid.
You know, I really don't care if those commies think I'm hip or not. If your kids think you're connected, then that's about all you can hope for. Anybody else who worries about is an actor or a politician. Do we want to live in a world with hip politicians ? I mean, how cool is VDH or Dalrymple ? Who can possibly compare ? Does Churchill trump John Lennon ? If sodomy is cooler than marriage, why does it probably hurt so much ?
I'm hoping your use of the word "hip" was also part of the gag…only dorks and fogeys use that term…it is not kewl.
Thad, you sweetheart. I think I have a crush on you.
I'm kind of sick of this whole "Republicans" aren't hip thing.
Sorry, but if Mr McCotter was really paying attention to what is going on out there, he will see that not only are the Conservatives representing us out in the culture "hip" they are actually on the cutting edge. Still, we self-perpetuate this crazy notion that we are all stuck in the 1950s.
Shouldn't we stop painting ourselves in a corner? Obviously, I don't agree with the basis for this "satire."
Alright!!! I am officially hip now!!! Scored a hundred on the test. But wait, I always thaught I was cool, was always popular in school, and quick to quip a joke. HMMMM, does that mean that I was hip and missed my calling to be a brain-dead celebutard?? Darn Brain!!!! If only I didn't think logically (or look halfway decent) I could be as hip as Jeannine Garafalo, witty as Joy Bahar, as Wordly as Whoopi (who knew there wa sa good and bad way to rape), and as manly as Rachel Maddow.
I have seen Alice Cooper listed several times in lists of conservative celebrities. Also I remember the first time I heard Josh Saviano was Marilyn Manson was in like '96. I was so disappointed to find out it wasn't true.
Being "hip" is WAY overrated. Being RIGHT is where its at!
" Seriously, it's not cool to do your own thing, but it should be."
It's cool when you're doing your own thing while everyone else is doing the WRONG thing. Is that better?
Disturbed, Metallica, Godsmack, Nirvana, Seether, Saliva, Three Days Grace, Incubus, Papa Roach, Velvet Revolver, Shinedown, Creed, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Audioslave, Three doors Down, Rammstein, Jack Johnson, Sublime, Ozzy, Rob Zombie, Jans' Addiction, Breaking Benjamin, Lincon Park & religion for the infinitely free spirit. I am conservative republican, & aesthetics & enlightenment I do not lack. However, neither do any other conservative republicans. We are happy from the inside out, & are infinite in our love of life.
So it's kind of like the entertainment version of a Nobel Peace Prize?
I maintain that conservatism is the new counterculture. We are the rebels.
It must really suck being you. I'm glad I'll never know. Before you respond, please…save your lies for someone who will believe them…we both know that I won't.
Actually there are a fair number of hipsters on the Right in Hollywood and Entertainment. However in certain circles Righties must stay closeted to protect their livelihoods. Witness David Mamet who has gone from genius to punching bag since he outed himself as "no longer a brain dead liberal". This actually points up the exclusionary nature of hipness which by definition is a select group of people. However in todays climate being unhip (conservative) in an industry of hipsters is more than not belonging, it is shunning.
…and Breyer
Meh, I don't think Republicans have a hip gap – they have a "We're not listening to you" ear plug just like the Democrats. People will give respect and see you as "hip" if you represent them and fight in their corner. What we're seeing is that the political elite don't listen – hence the Tea Party movement.
No, you'd rather have angry punks like Green Day and The Offspring. And I've never, ever heard an angry lib comedian or comedianne…yeah, right.
And don't even get me started on Muse. Great music, but some of the most preachy crap I've ever heard. Straight out of IPCC's playbook. CCM isn't even close to being that preachy.
The coolness gap is that we don't have to tell people we are cool. We just are, and we don't care who knows.
Did you say "common sense chasm"?
Im sorry speak for yourself I am swimming in hipness.
Ask my daughter.
Feh, who said Janine Garafolo is hip anyway?
Hip is on full display. Hip will go by the way of 8 tracks when it comes to our leaders. "Outdated".
People want adults in charge who have done something other than community agitate.
Now that was a mean thing to say. Why do you do that? Someone makes a valid comment and rather than disagree you have to turn all disagreeable. I will never understand that kind of thinking.
I've never heard of The Offspring and I'm not a big fan of Green Day, but there is no denying their talent.
I've never heard of Muse either. Guess I should turn on MTV…
Yet another of your many deficiencies. I'm surprised you never got fragged.
I can recite Eric B. & Rakim's "Follow the Leader" and "Microphone Fiend" from memory. (Note to Rage Against The Machine – please don't mangle rap from the Master…ever again.) I used to know quite a few raps off of "Straight Outa Compton" and "Eazy Does It". I can stall a (ok, four or five years ago I could, I'm gettin' up there) a hacky-sack ™ on my head and knee and three sides of each foot.
Guess what? Hipness is useless waste-of-time sh**. I wish I could take back all the time I spent memorizing that Gangsta rap idiocy. But damn was I cool with the party crowds.
Hipness is what one does. If the crowd that excuses the Arab world's hideous, barbaric behavior is hip, then I'll be square, thank you. If the crowd that idolizes the biggest mass-murderers in human history, and considers them great philosophers with wonderful ideas, is F***ING HIP, then I'll be squarfe, and would gladly punch anybody in the schnozz who even SUGGESTED that I was hip. If the crowd that still belongs to and calls themselves by the same name as the political party which was for slavery, which signed every single racist Jim Crow law onto the books, which formed the KKK, which thought Margaret Sanger's racist Eugenics was such a good idea that they planted her Planned Parenthood clinics all over the inner cities (which the same party had re-enslaved by using racism to dumb down the schools because "those stupid negroes can't learn as well as us white people"), is anything approaching HIP, then, as George Carlin said about Mickey Mouse,
"F**K HIP WITH A BIG RUBBER D**K"
We love you here in Michigan, Thad!!!
I've always thought that being conservative = being counterculture and against government = hip. Wasn't that what the english punks in the 70s were all about? That's why bands like green day are just so funny to me because they're not punk at all–they're everything that their punk forefathers mocked in their music.
Liberals have taken everything, including the term "hip" and made it so lame.
If by "HIP" you mean HYPOCRITICAL, I agree with you McCotter.
I never worried about being "hip." I always had other concerns – like living up to the high standards my parents set for me by example.
As for popular culture, I got two words:
"HUCK FIP"
Alright, now you are just tweaking me… good one.
Yep…
Hey, no "passive-aggressive" copout, mikatollah…!
Back your statement up…or run away…
It's also very "Film Noir", at least until 2012…
Jett & the offspring too.
Yes! I love seeing Congressman McCotter on Red Eye too. He's a Great Representative in more ways than one!!!!
I think passive aggressive is allowed on blogs. Take that away and there is only "aggressive"… well, that and sarcasm which I'm also guilty of…
As if MTV played music any more. Bring back Martha Quinn and the Spaceman!!
"This is not to say Democrats are hip. People who squander their precious breaths of life poring over Das Kapital, practicing rhythmic chanting with Kindergarten lyrics, chaining themselves to national monuments and/or writing memoirs prior to accomplishing anything are utter stiffs. They can only pass themselves off as cool in comparison to…well, us."
McCotter. I guess I can't corner the market on diminutiveness. Good stuff.
The progressives are hanging themselves. Thank God someone realizes that you have to fill the vacuum. And the Grand Old Party has been woefully inflexible in the past.
P.S. This is not a good time to put Roe v Wade in the limelight. We are about to kick the chair from under their movement. Let's keep the noose around their neck.
Didn't Tommy catch that from Pamela?
.
I have to admit, for a capitalist pig, McCotter is easily the coolest dude in Congress.
But with a name like "Thaddeus" we never saw it coming in time to dispatch ACORN and the pink ladies.
And remember, it's hard work being a big fat socialist president with a 200 y.o. Constitution standing in the way.
Now, please pass the lotion — it's time for Robot Theater.
Ellie Light
Marxville, USA
.
As always, McCotter makes my day somehow! Honestly, if Republicans want to be "hip" (I hate that word, so wayside like "bling" and "da bomb"), let's tap into our growing young base. A lot of us want to be heard, and have a lot to offer the political arena.
It's frustrating to be told often that there's no way I'm conservative and dress how I do, listen to the music I do, watch the shows I do, or even have the career I've chosen. Like they think conservatives are in a bubble. We can't be funny, we can't cuss, we can't have tattoos and purple hair. I get asked at least twice a month if I'm driving my mother's car because I have a conservative bumper sticker. Nope, that's me with the loud music and the road rage. That's certainly not to say any of these things are "cool" or "hip", I could care less about being either of those things, I'm just being who I am and doing what I enjoy. But when someone tells me I can't be conservative because of that, I laugh, roll my eyes, and tell them ignorance is bliss.
Can't wait for Red Eye the next time you're on, Congressman!
He also has (or had, ain't been there in a while) a GREAT restaurant.
Guess you are right… those days seem to be gone forever.
Nobody comes to this list looking for cool. We seek old and crotchety, and the folks here never disappoint.
The first time I saw T-Mac on Red Eye, I thought the guy was a real weiner, like Dennis Kucinich. But by the time that show was over, I was a big fan.
Since then, I've seen him several times on Red Eye and heard him on The Dennis Miller Show.
POTUS might be a bit much, because too many people don't understand his brand of humor, but I'm all for it.
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