Making a Christmas list is always fun. And I remember as a kid listing things in order, putting the gift I would most like Santa to bring at the top of list. One year that was a bicycle, another year a certain type of BB gun, and another year a video game system. Throughout other years the number one gift request varied but was always the one thing on my list I went to bed dreaming about on Christmas Eve. And although such is to be expected of a child, it seems that a lot of adults now go to bed on Christmas Eve dreaming of what Santa might bring them as well: especially when the number one thing on their list is a Walther .380 or a Glock model 27 or a Springfield XD subcompact 9mm, all of which are splendid guns for concealed carry permit holders.

As a matter of fact, judging from sales receipts and FBI reports regarding sales for December 2011, it seems that Santa delivered at least 1.5 million firearms for Christmas.

Not only is this news in light of the fact that it required the FBI to do a record setting number of background checks in a month – 1.5 million in December alone – but also because it continues to highlight what has been a growing trend among people of all walks of life: namely, folks are less and less trustful of government’s ability to keep them safe.

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A video is circulating online that imagines what modifications the infamous California Air Resources Board (CARB) would make to Santa and his traditional reindeer-drawn sleigh if they had the ability to regulate Christmas, with hilarious results:

CARB and the far-fetched ideas they frequently propose are a frequent target of scorn, but they really make it easy.  When it comes to unintentional humor, CARB is the gift that keeps on giving.

Included in CARB’s re-fit of Santa’s sleigh:

•     Changing the sleigh into a bobsled – much more aerodynamic.

•     Ditching the gifts in the back; they’re really cutting into the sleigh’s “miles per hoofbeat.”

•     Red might be Santa’s traditional color, but according to CARB darker colors attract too much heat.  Pale pink is just like red…almost.

•     To reduce horse- (or in this case reindeer-) power, at least four of the Dasher and Prancer crowd would find themselves unemployed come Christmas.

•     Rudolph is allowed to stay on the team, but only if he swaps his glowing red nose for an energy efficient light blub.

•     Santa should really skip the cookies and milk so he can shed a few pounds.

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Attention Santas:

This missive is directed at the guardians of, and donors to, tiny humans. If you fall into that category you likely are already familiar with Build-A-Bear, a world-wide corporation that provides the most innocent of services. They sell customizable stuffed animals. Make your own bear, dog…penguin. Cute concept.

So cute, in fact, that the Build-A-Bear empire sweeps across nearly every state and into 17 other countries. You’ll find their outlets in shopping malls everywhere and even some ballparks. The company also has a website called Build-A-Bearville.com where children can play an interactive video game that, on it’s surface, is unlikely to raise suspicion or sound alarms.

But when your unsuspecting tot logs on and hops a virtual train to the North Pole…you should know that he or she will be informed — by Santa Claus — that Christmas may be canceled this year due to Global Warming. Below is part two of the 3-part video.