In August 2011, after a conspiracy that lured in members of our Seal Team Six with other heroic Americans, the Taliban set up an ambush and murdered them.

Following those brutal attacks, President Obama’s strategy has been to hasten negotiations with the Taliban. Additionally, the Obama administration has now not only offered to release known Taliban terrorists from detention, but has already released some and additionally offered to legitimize our sworn enemy by furnishing them a princely office in Qatar.

In return, Obama’s agents defend that they are being tough on the Taliban by demanding that they not use the office to raise funds to support their terrorism. That is a bit reminiscent of the Clinton-Albright demand of North Korea that if we give them nuclear technology, they must promise to use it for electric generation and not weapons.

According to many Afghans, all of these and other Obama Administration actions give substantial credence to the Taliban claim, supported privately by some Pakistani leaders, that the U.S. has lost in Afghanistan and is now begging them for negotiations. One Taliban leader who was released from detention by the Obama administration for medical and end of life purposes, is now back in command and recently demanded on Afghan TV that since the Americans have now lost and are begging for negotiations, Afghans disloyal to the Taliban must come ask forgiveness and for safety from the Taliban.

A Northern Alliance leader says that of the more than 800 Taliban detainees that have been released, he is now seeing many of them fighting, killing and terrorizing again. Yet, the Northern Alliance leaders are being effectively shut out of the plans for the way forward, while being demonized by the American government they helped.

The State Department even went to extraordinary links to attempt preventing the writers from meeting with the Northern Alliance leaders. We were able to meet, with some help from foreign friends, but clearly the Obama administration and its comrades mean for our allies to stay under the bus when they throw them there.

In late 2001-2002, the Taliban were defeated with less than 500 Americans embedded with the Northern Alliance, but now the Taliban is stronger while we have more than 100,000 American troops in Afghanistan. Though Vice-President Biden says the Taliban are not our enemies, American soldiers in Afghanistan say the Taliban are still creating IED’s, firing bullets, firing rockets and doing all they can to kill Americans, so it seemed to them that the Taliban certainly think they are our enemy. This points straight to the fact our military is not the problem; its their commander in chief who is the current weak link in our chain of command.

To date, the U.S. nation-building experiment in Afghanistan has produced instability, violence, skyrocketing drug production, widespread corruption, fraudulently rigged elections and the general disapproval of this new government by its own people. Under the U.S.-approved, Afghan Constitution, President Karzai appoints all governors for the provinces, all mayors, police chiefs, the slate for one third of the Senate candidates, and even a segment of the Class 1 teachers in the country. He even has power of the purse that the U.S. President does not have. Clearly this is a formula for heightened corruption, while isolating and ignoring many ethnic groups that make up the very essence of Afghan society.

Many with first-hand experience fighting the Taliban say they are dependent on Pakistan for their marching orders, strategy, and weaponry. In the meantime, President Karzai’s regime has dropped every pretense of appreciation for American sacrifice in blood and treasure as demonstrated by his recent threats to align with Pakistan, Iran and China even as we continue to prop up his government. From Karzai’s perspective, he may well see the Taliban and Pakistan as holding his fate in their hands once the U.S. pulls out.

At the same time, the U.S. is pouring billions of dollars into Afghanistan that comprises the largest portion of the Afghan government’s own budget. U.S.A.I.D. alone is pouring $3.6 billion a year into the country for aid and projects while the money often fails to get past corrupt government officials with 80 percent going to Taliban areas and a tiny fraction going to areas where our allies reside.

The Afghan leaders have become increasingly enriched as their contempt for us has continued to grow. At President Karzai’s encouragement, we have politically and militarily undermined the natural and historic barrier to the Taliban, which is the non-Pashtun peoples of the North, Central and Western parts of Afghanistan. As these non-Pashtun communities were weakened, their leaders were undermined by U.S. support for Karzai and his concentration of power.

The critical next step should be to insist on a new Constitutional Loya Jirga, or convention, that will draft a new constitution enshrining federalism as the new form of government. This would break the Taliban’s ability to dominate Afghanistan by strengthening those communities opposed to the return of the Taliban and their Al-Qaeda allies. It would give Afghans the kind of hope that our founders provided Americans 225 years ago with our Constitution.

We should insist on local elections of Afghan governors and mayors who may then select the police chiefs. Electing regional leaders would serve to eliminate the conduit of corruption built into the present system, while at the same time giving the governing authority back to the people who are now being disenfranchised.

This course would establish the basis for a political system that allows each of Afghanistan’s ethnic communities to retain their identity and protect them from the Taliban’s violent ethnic repression, brutality and regressive domination. The resulting political framework would also enable trust and goodwill to be built between Afghanistan’s diverse communities as each community would have a direct and important say in its own future.

Perhaps we should even consider support for a Balochistan carved out of Pakistan to diminish radical power there also. Surely, leaving Afghanistan to the same terrorist thugs who enabled the September 11th attacks is the very definition of insanity.The way forward should not include the current Obama plan of putting our future in Taliban hands that are covered with American blood.

Moved by President Obama’s pleadings, Biden and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton resigned their posts last week in order to switch positions and become America’s first Cabinet-level tag team.

On Monday, Clinton won Congressional approval to be the nation’s Number Two, adding a hefty bottom to the Democrats’ 2012 Presidential undercard.

CHAIRMAN JOHN KERRY:  Good morning, everyone.  The Committee is delighted to welcome former Vice President Biden, or, as he was referred to by White House pollsters, “Dead-Weight Joe.”

Once confirmed, he will oversee the steaming pile of dung that’s been our foreign policy under the capable Mrs. Clinton.  I assure you, Joe Biden can manage the load.

We all know America is a nation in decline, a nation hurtling toward the depths.  With his misplaced sense of humor, endearing ineptitude, and characteristic superciliousness, Joe is well-equipped to lead us into irrelevance.

Before we begin the questioning, I would like to offer a few thoughts about. . . .

. . . . defeating the worldwide scourge of male pattern baldness, preventing the unnecessary loss of trillions of innocent follicles. . . .

. . . . extraditing Dick Cheney to the Hague to account for his. . . .

. . . . returning Texas and California to Mexico, from whom we unjustly. . . .

. . . . calming Americans’ unreasoning dread of a Global Caliphate . . .

. . . . encouraging India to vaporize Pakistan, ushering in an era of peace in that troubled. . . .

Now, to save time, we’ll dispense with a self-serving statement from the Ranking Member and my esteemed colleague, Senator Lugar, and go right to questioning.  Suit you, Mr. Vice President?

BIDEN:  Sure.  [looks into camera and nods at Kerry] Don’t let the long face and sober mien fool ya, folks.  Kerry’s a regular guy.  The other day we were playin’ bumslap in the locker room at the New York Athletic Club, and he. . . .

KERRY:  That was Bob Kerrey, Joe.

BIDEN:  Whatever.

KERRY:  Let’s do a foreign policy word association exercise first.

BIDEN:  Shoot.

KERRY:  Palestinians.

BIDEN:  Give ’em a chunk of money to ignore Israel, then sic ’em on Iran.

KERRY:  Guantanamo.

BIDEN:  Release the detainees.  Say, “We grab you on the battlefield again, we’ll shave your beard and feed you pulled pork sandwiches.”  To hell with Human Rights Watch.

KERRY:  Nicarugula

BIDEN: Um, nice, with a light balsamic, maybe some parmesan shards?

KERRY:  Bumslap, huh?  Gotcha.

BIDEN:  Damn.

KERRY:  North Korea.

BIDEN:  They’re paranoid about security.  Give ‘em Bill Clinton to serve as hostage to our good behavior.

KERRY:   Muslim Brotherhood.

BIDEN:  Ask Minister Farrakhan to go to Egypt and liaise with the brothas.

KERRY:  On a more personal note:  What was your proudest moment in the foreign arena as Vice President

BIDEN:  Tell you a story that’s never been reported.

April 2009, a few months after we took over.  The standoff between the USS Bainbridge and Somali pirates holding the captain of an American-flagged ship in a lifeboat was in its fourth day and showed no signs of ending.

I said to the President, “Lemme fly out there, Boss, settle this thing.  I grew up with guys like that, workin’-class stiffs tryin’ to make an easy buck any way they could.  I’ll get down and dirty if I hafta.”

The Big O says, “Do it, Joe.”

Twelve hours later I was aboard the Bainbridge and had assumed command of the ship.  I parleyed with the pirates in Somali, which I speak fluently.  They musta been hopped up.  Wouldn’t listen.  So, I decided to move on ‘em.

I nixed a proposal to have a SEAL dive team surface next to the boat, climb in and overwhelm the pirates.  “No waterboarding, ” I told the SEALs.  “Not in this administration.”  Instead, I stationed snipers on the ship’s fantail, spotting for one of them.

When the time was right, I gave the order and my guys took ‘em down.  Then I dove in, grabbed our hostage, and got ‘im back to the ship in twelve foot seas.

KERRY:  Amazing.

BIDEN:  Don’t make me out like a hero, now.  Just doin’ my job.

KERRY:  How can we prevent such a situation from happening again?

BIDEN:  Piracy was allowed to grow and fester under the previous administration, John.  President Bush never reached out to the pirates; instead, he dismissed them as barbarians and thieves.

In fact, the Obama Administration has developed evidence these high seas entrepreneurs often mistakenly target American vessels because of dense fog caused by global warming.

The President has authorized me to share ship identification technology with responsible members of the pirate community to reduce the chance of a repeat incident.

KERRY:  Ah, my time’s up.  Before I yield, I want to thank Mr. Biden for his excellent advice on registering my yacht in Panama, beyond the reach of. . . .

BIDEN:  Don’t go there, John.

OBAMA:  Hey Axe!  Whassup?

No, I don’t know who leaked our decision to abandon blue collar whites.  Soon’s we find the S.O.B., we’ll dress him up like a banker and drop him into the middle of an OWS protest.

You’re kidding.  We gotta reverse course because word got out?

Okay, I understand: you want me and Joe to be regular people for a while.  Suggestions?

Avoid Camp David.  Fine.  Too rustic for my taste, anyway.  Anything else?

Wait until after the election to eminent domain Lafayette Square and build a White House pitch and putt complex?  No problem.  That it?

What?!  Aw, c’mon, man!  You can’t be serious.  That would demean the office of the Presidency.

All right, all right, I’ll do it.  Yeah, we’ll brainstorm more ideas, too.  Okay, later. [hangs up]

BIDEN:  Chief?

OBAMA:  First thing tomorrow, Joe, you and I begin hanging new drapery in the East Room.

JAY CARNEY:  I’ll alert the networks to have camera crews in place by 10:00 a.m., sir.

BILL DALEY:  Your 9:00 o’clock tee time with Tiger at Congressional, Mr. President?  I’ll call him and canc. …

OBAMA:  Ixnay!  SNL’s Fred Armisen owes me big for resuscitating his career.  Request his presence here at dawn in work clothes and cap.   Jay, don’t give the signal to start taping until Fred and Joe are atop their ladders.  No close ups.

VALERIE JARRETT:  [hanging up phone] You and Michelle are signed up for the Tuesday night mixed league at the Lucky Strikes Lanes in Bethesda, sir.  First-timers bring beer.

OBAMA:  Oh joy.  Well, anyway, Versace’ll need a few weeks to design Michelle’s bowling duds.  We’ll start after we get back from Hawaii in Jan . . . Joe, what?

BIDEN:  Um, regular folks don’t go to the islands on holiday, Skipper.   Better stick close this year.  How ‘bout us two and the wives do some day trips:  Busch Gardens, say; maybe check out Bob’s Reptile House in Virginia; or take a bird walk at the National Zoo.

OBAMA:  This is getting out of hand.

BIDEN:  Ooh, that sparks a thought, Number One.  Let’s you and me do a Bush-Cheney sock puppet show for poor kids next Saturday in the Rose Garden.  Bush and Cheney are quail hunting in Jersey, see, when Cheney turns towards Bush and accidentally discharges his weapon, winging Jon Corzine who’s nearby throwing bags of money into a big hole he’s dug. Meanwhile. . . .

OBAMA:  Wait wait wait.  We’re going about this bass ackwards.  I won’t get reelected because the great unwashed think I’m one of them; I’ll win if the economy booms.  How do we make that a reality in eleven months?

BIDEN:  Bring Rick Santelli in and do what he says?

JARRETT:  The President means, without openly abandoning his war on capitalism, Joe.

OBAMA:  Correct.  Look, unemployment fell to 8.6%.  Why?  Because employers are buoyed by the fact I’m looking more unelectable every day.  They’re anticipating my defeat and trying to get a leg up on competitors.

DAVID PLOUFFE:  I think I get where you’re going, sir.  We keep doing what we’ve been doing to drive your numbers down further, through the 30s and even into the 20s.  The lower you go, the more hoarded cash gets pumped into the marketplace.  By late summer, the economy’s ignited, leaving the Republican nominee gasping like a landed fish.

OBAMA:  Exactly.  Naturally, my numbers rebound dramatically in the fall, with businesses too committed to expansion to pull back even though I’m surging.  Their tough luck when I win and punish them for trying to profit on the backs of their customers.

JARRETT:  On another front, sir: the Ice Queen has agreed to break ranks with Senate Republicans and sign on to your American Jobs Bill,

OBAMA:  And what did we give up for Senator Snowe’s favors?

PLOUFFE:  She remains a Republican, sir, but she’ll have a vote in Reid’s caucus.

OBAMA:  Not too bad in exchange for. . . .

PLOUFFE:  There’s more, sir: she has first call on the White House movie theater.  And next vacancy, you’re nominating her for the Supreme Court.

OBAMA:  Ouch!  The pain in Maine weighs heav’ly on my brain.  Still, nice having a token Republican on our side.

BIDEN:  Whew!  All this Machiavellian stuff is making my head spin.  And it’s been days since you had a day off, Boss.  Whyncha reach out to Tiger and Michael Jordan.  Check if they’re available to fly to Pebble Beach this weekend.

DALEY:  Snowe’s already reserved Air Force One through Sunday, sir.

OBAMA:  Oh?  Has she moved into the Residence yet?  What more can possibly happen to. . . .

[enter First Lady]

MICHELLE:  Hey, who booked the Blue Room Friday night for “An Old-Fashioned Maine Snowbound Hoedown”?   I need it for my seminar on “Weak Men, and the Strong Women Who Push Them to Greatness.”  Move the Maine shindig to your basketball court.  You hear me, Barack?

JAY CARNEY:  The Factor’s devoting a whole show to the revelations next week, sir.  Word is, he’ll read excerpts from your Harvard Law senior thesis, “Tart Reform: a New Paradigm for the Oldest Profession.”

OBAMA: Good lord!  I’ll be ridiculed for something I didn’t even write.  How do we stop this?

DAVID PLOUFFE:  Posing as a fired MSNBC whistleblower, I’ll e-mail O’Reilly and set up a meet in Fort Marcy Park tonight, sir.  You call in a favor from the Teamsters.  Tomorrow morning, joggers’ll find old “Fair and Balanced” clutching a note expressing remorse for forging documents meant to discredit you.

OBAMA:  Um, maybe something less extreme.  Leon?

PANETTA:  Our Black Projects team developed a marble-sized nuke that’ll fry transmissions in a localized area, sir.  I can task a Predator to deliver it over Fox Headquarters as O’Reilly goes on.

OBAMA:  Set it up.  But we need a cover story.  Janet, order the National Weather Service to warn of severe thunderstorms in the vicinity just before detonation.

NAPOLITANO:  Won’t fool anybody, sir.

OBAMA:  You’re right.  Instead, let’s give the Times, the Post, and our network anchors a heads-up on the EMP event.  Jay, inform them I want the spike story pulsed . . . I mean the pulse story spiked.

CARNEY:  You’re forgetting the blogosphere, sir:  Big Government and the Pajamas guys will out the truth in nanoseconds.

OBAMA:  Then I’ll shut down the internet for “national security reasons.”

NAPOLITANO:  You agreed to hold off flipping the internet kill switch until after you’re reelected, sir.

JOE BIDEN: I gotta idea, Boss: get in front of the wave.  Preempt O’Reilly, and come clean about your misspent youth with a heartfelt statement from the Oval Office.

OBAMA:  Might work.  Something along these lines:

“Let me be perfectly clear.  I toked my way through college, but the smoke has long since dissipated, and I am now clear-headed and determined to save the country from modern robber barons such as the Koch brothers in order to see to fruition my health care reforms, which are designed to prevent predatory insurers from denying home services to people like Hernando Sosa of Santa Fe, a quadriplegic who died alone last spring after swallowing his dentures, with no one to help him in his final years but an elderly aunt who had lost both feet to diabetes when Kaiser Permanente refused to. . . .”

BIDEN:  Uh, super, Chief.  Might wanna tighten it up a little, though.

PLOUFFE:  On another matter, Mr. President:  in Massachusetts, Elizabeth Warren just locked up the Senate nomination, but she’s already down a dozen to Scott Brown.

OBAMA:  Liz needs my help.  I’ll endorse Brown and campaign for him.  Should tank his support among independents–and raise doubts about him with Republicans.

VALERIE JARRETT:  But sir . . . won’t our people stand down because you’re pushing Brown?

PLOUFFE:  No worries, Val.  Massachusetts Democrats are genetically predisposed to vote against their interests.

OBAMA: Jay, set up a Scott Brown call center in the Situation Room.  We’ll release a tape of me working the phones.  Debbie, arrange for DNC operatives to wave “Barack and Scott for America” signs at Brown’s rallies.

WASSERMAN SCHULTZ:  Yes, sir.  Looking ahead to Election Day:  I’ll ask the New Black Panther Party to station, ah, aggressive observers outside polling places in key Republican precincts.

ERIC HOLDER:  Assure NBPP leadership that Justice Department lawyers will be on hand to shield their toughs from harassment by local authorities.

OBAMA:  Which reminds me . . . I’ve overplayed the race card.  From now on, I’ll employ the victim card.  Any suggestions?

BILL DALEY:  My voice doesn’t carry as far since my demotion, sir, so please listen carefully.  Instruct Media Matters to claim Breitbart’s spreading rumors that you have another wife and family in Cleveland; attended Madrassa with Mullah Omar; and were born a hermaphrodite.  We need people outraged and rallying around you the way they did for Cain.

OBAMA:  Clever.  Once we propagate those despicable lies, I’ll attend African Methodist Episcopal some rainy Sunday when I can’t golf and preach the virtues of forgiveness.

HOLDER:  Speaking of victims, sir—lawsuits have just been filed over the alleged shootings at Fort Hood in 2009.   One claimant is Federal Police Officer Kimberly Munley, who was allegedly wounded when she attacked Major Nidal Hasan, the alleged gunman.

OBAMA:  Damn!  Anti-Muslim sentiment will rekindle with Fort Hood back on the front pages.  I wonder . . . could we defuse tensions by inviting Hasan and Munley to the Rose Garden for a beer?

HOLDER:  Hasan would probably decline, sir.  They say he doesn’t respect women, especially women who shoot him.

Nidal Hasan

OBAMA:  What’s the status of the investigation?

HOLDER:  DOJ’s going through Officer Hunley’s background with a fine-tooth comb, sir.  I’m confident we’ll determine why she resorted to violence that day. Meanwhile, we’ve identified thirty-five eyewitnesses who are conspiring to claim Major Hasan shouted a Muslim warcry during the incident.

OBAMA:  Wherever the truth leads, Eric. . . .

[enter First Lady]

MICHELLE:  Bill Ayers is waiting outside, and he’s mad.  Says you’re behind on royalty payments you owe him for writing your autobiography.   Pay the man!  You hear me, Barack?

The article, a fawning exhibition of non-investigative journalism, referred to Prend as the “Guru of Green.” Reuters neglected to question whether Prend’s close government connections had created conflicts of interest as he secured multi-million dollar government loans and grants for his investments.

Prend lobbied the Director of the White House Office of Energy and Climate Change Policy, Carol Browner, for Solyndra’s doomed $535 million DOE loan and presidential endorsement. Prend also visited the White House at least twice and discussed two companies with Browner while lobbying for Solyndra. (The White House refuses to release the second company’s name.)

Prend’s other investments suggest that he is benefiting from taxpayer support for far more than just two companies.

Prend is a board member for scandal-plagued concrete sealant manufacturer Hycrete. Around 2008, Hycrete received a $2 million Corps of Engineers earmark from Rep. Pete Visclosky (D-IN) shortly before company executives donated $20,000 to his campaign and the DCCC. In July 2009, former Hycrete CEO David Rosenberg was invited to a WH Summit on Energy Innovation and Jobs where Obama praised Hycrete as a job creation leader.

Prend was apparently involved in another RockPort Capital investment, Soliant Energy. Soliant went bankrupt even after receiving a $4 million DOE grant. Prend also apparently sits on the board of SustainX, which recently secured a $5.39 million DOE grant.

In late 2010, RockPort Capital invested in and appointed co-founder Wilber James to the board of troubled energy start-up Ener1. Within months, the Elkhart, Indiana company received a $118.5 million stimulus grant and a visit from Joe Biden. During his visit, Biden inspected the electric-drive THINK City vehicle, an Ener1 and RockPort investment. The THINK City vehicle was manufactured in Elkhart prior to THINK’s fourth bankruptcy in June 2011. Think is a Norwegian-based company. Elkhart was also where President Obama announced $2.4 billion in electric-drive grants.

Another RockPort investment, Southwest Windpower, has also been honored by a visit from President Obama and a plug during his weekly address. Southwest was afforded tax credits shortly before receiving a $10 million joint investment from GE.

Reuters’ most glaring omission is its failure to discuss the implications of Prend’s position as the director of the DOE National Renewable Energy Laboratory (NREL) National Advisory Council (appointed in 2007) and the Solar Technology Review Panel Chairman. His position with NREL to influence the government with federal loans and grants for green technology would appear to create a serious conflict of interest.

With some research, it seems that Prend’s investments and conflicts of interest warrant close journalistic scrutiny–more serious than Reuters has seen fit to offer.

BIDEN:  Well, I didn’t, Billy boy.  I said Hillary was leading with her behind.  Or maybe I said the whole NATO operation was like the blind leading the blind.  I don’t remember.  But the guy misquoted me.

OBAMA:  No lasting harm.  Research and Destroy knocked that off the front pages fast with the Cain revelations.

DAVID PLOUFFE:  Oh, Mr. President, the Smithsonian taxidermist just delivered Gaddafi’s head.

OBAMA:  Okay.  Tell Housekeeping to mount it above the mantel in the Residence, next to bin Laden’s.  And remind them to leave room for Baby Assad and Boehner.

VALERIE JARRETT:  Sir, the Libya bump is fading since Fox reported diehard Islamists have seized control of the country and Gaddafi’s massive stock of surface-to-air missiles.

BIDEN:  Damn Ailes, trying to make people think we shoulda known that could happen.

HILLARY CLINTON:  Mr. President, a faction of the Libyan ruling junta assured me when I was there showcasing Smart Power™  a few weeks back that they’ll work with us to secure the missiles–if they survive the coming purges by al-Qaeda hardliners.

OBAMA:  Whatever happens, the Libyan denouement has been a nice diversion recently.  But the Cain thing is petering out and attention is swinging back to the economy.

JARRETT:  As well as scandals like Gunwalker and Solyndra that Jonathan Alter–bless his loyal, simple heart—and our pussycat media have ignored.

HILLARY:  Perhaps we need a bank of foreign distractions to draw on through next November, sir.

OBAMA:  Good thinking.  Hmm.  Here’s an idea.  Hillary, get Prime Minister Ahmadinejad on the hot line, please.

[pause]

Hello, Mahmoud?  It’s Barack.  Uh, Obama.  Yes, yes, Hussein, American president.  Peace be with you, sir.

”Death to America”?  Ha Ha Haaaa!  Funny, you sound just like my former pastor when you say that.

No no no.  Libya was an aberration.  Gaddafi asked for it when he gave up his nuclear program.

Listen, can we meet? Maybe resolve our countries’ differences?

Tehran, January? Absolutely.  I’ll clear my schedule. Now, my people tell me we shouldn’t meet without preconditions.  What are your preconditions, sir?

Completely out of Iraq before I arrive?  Way ahead of you, Mahmoud.  I’ve already cut the orders.

[pause]

Oh, sure.  We’ll leave bases intact for your use should Iraq become a part of Greater Iran.  Waste not, want not.  Anything else?

Agreed.  I’ll recall our ambassador to Israel.

I understand.  In fact, I told Netanyahu yesterday I’m implementing a variation of our ”One China” policy vis-à-vis the Jewish state and Palestinians.  We’re calling the initiative our ”One Palestine” kowtow.

A good faith gesture?  Um, how about our weapons specialists working with Iranian scientists to ensure your nuclear bombs are reasonably clean.  That’ll limit damage to the environment when you use them.

May I ask for a good faith gesture in return, sir?

You’ll use your influence with al-Qaeda to guarantee that soldiers captured during our withdrawal will enjoy the option to convert?  I don’t. . . .   Ah, conversion entitles them to be beheaded with a sharp knife rather than a dull one.  Yes, indeed, Allah is merciful.

See you in January, inshallah.

[hangs up]

That went well.  Maybe a breakthrough.

BIDEN:  Good on ya, Chief.

OBAMA:  Okay, Diversion Number Two for, say, next spring?   Anybody?

HILLARY:  North Korea, sir?  We’re still dead in the water there.

BIDEN:  She’s onta somethin’, Boss.  I say we pursue a, whatchamacallit, quid pro nililum approach with the Hermit Klingon–  unabashed groveling absent expectation of anything in return.

HILLARY:  Kim will expect us to offer something concrete in exchange for nothing, sir.

OBAMA:  Hmm.  I’ll authorize an Executive Action extending health coverage to North Korea’s 23 million . . . uh, what?  [Hillary whispers into his ear] Oh, since yesterday?  All right, North Korea’s 22 million people.  HHS?

KATHLEEN SEBELIUS:  The “DPRK Wellness Program” is already on the books in my safe, sir.  You could announce it’s imperative we implement the coverage immediately to get America’s economy moving again.

HILLARY:  Preliminary talks with Kim on this matter took place just after you assumed office, sir.  He insisted end-of-life counseling be mandated for all North Korean citizens, regardless of medical condition.

OBAMA:  Wily old Troll.  Who says he doesn’t care about his people.   Now, let’s plan a really big diplomatic distraction for next fall.

HILLARY:  You’re overdue for an “America Apology” trip, sir.

OBAMA:  True.  Arrange a state visit to Havana in September, Hillary.  I’ll tell Castro I’m sorry for decades of American interference with Cuban efforts to destabilize the Southern Hemisphere.

ERIC HOLDER:  Match words with actions, sir.  Pledge to vacate Guantanamo Bay once the man-made disaster suspects being held die of old age.

HILLARY:  That’s would be a powerful humanitarian gesture, Mr. President.  Cuba’s prison population is exploding, and Castro’s assured us the facility would house political prisoners who might otherwise be shot because there is no more room in Cuban dungeons.

OBAMA:  Well, Human Rights Watch will be pleased.  Eric, let’s also offer blanket amnesty and citizenship to Cuban provocateurs, assassins, and double agents who have been operating in the shadows since arriving in Florida as Marielitos in 1980.

JARRETT:  The right thing to do, sir.  Many of those people still pose as refugees, living in fear, running from safe house to safe house one step ahead of the FBI.  Let them do their jobs without us looking over their shoulders.

HOLDER: I’ll waive attendance at the mass recitation of the Oath of Citizenship for Cuban nationals who choose to skip the event rather than risk their cover.

OBAMA:  Good.  In the lead up, I’ll issue a general pardon to Marco Rubio for any activities he engaged in prior to. . . .

[enter First Lady]

MICHELLE: Michael Jordan’s here for your one-on-one.  Don’t let him blow by you on your left.  You hear me, Barack?

Uncle Joe is at it again. He is, once again, using the tried and true Democrat tactic of trying to scare people into letting the government spend more money. It is time to pass yet another failed stimulus bill, and if you don’t pass it, oh, you don’t even want to know the horrors the country will face.

The argument, this time, is: “If you don’t let the Federal government tax and spend even MORE of your hard earned money, local police forces won’t have enough cops to be able to stop the skyrocketing number rapes that will occur. Only the Federal government can solve problems, you see.”

Mr. Biden, the Federal government doesn’t need to spend more of our money to stop rapes, the second amendment already allows the citizens of this country to stop rapes from happening to them.

If Federal spending can stop rapes, then I wonder how many rapes would’ve been stopped with the wasted Solyndra money.

Cross-Posted: TobyToons.com (Conservative Political Cartoons)