My six year-old, parroting her teacher, proclaimed, “If we don’t fix Climate Change, we’re all gonna die!” At that moment, I decided to write YOU’VE BEEN GORED, the book that lampoons Al Gore and his hypocritical “ALpostles.”

The environment has become the hottest political issue of our time. And when anything is politicized, falsehood flourishes. The volume of lies, disinformation, propaganda, hypocrisy and exaggeration far exceeds the quantity of material pollutants – and is more hazardous.

Green has become the convenient, safe, lucrative cause for politicians, corporate weasels, celebrity eco-frauds, power-hungry government agencies and fast-buck swindlers hustling everything from gas-to-water engine conversion plans to carbon offset credits.

There’s a combination gold-rush/Armageddon’s a-comin’ zeitgeist that’s very troubling. It’s like watching the panicked crowd flee from Godzilla. Their mindless fear is more dangerous than the monster.

Statistics of doom are conjured and accepted without vetting. Idiotic “solutions” are clutched in desperation. Most terrifying of all, leaders are anointed and followed — without scrutiny.

There’s more mass hysteria in the air than particulate matter. And that hysteria is stoked by people with ulterior motives – money and power.

Green rhetoric has morphed into dogma. Totalitarian semantics force an agenda on those less educated or wary. One who disagrees is labeled a denier – a pejorative term that invalidates an opinion since only “truth” can be denied.

With Bolshevik fervor they scream for the heads of non-believers. Jobs are lost, professional credentials are revoked, jail time will be served. Non-compliance is not tolerated. Mere tolerance is not tolerated. One must embrace the new creed.

It’s time to step back, set up the bullshit filter (make sure it’s on full screen), and carefully evaluate the message. And even more carefully, examine the messengers.

Over the next several weeks, BigGovernment.com will serialize portions of YOU’VE BEEN GORED.

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Americans are living longer than ever due in large part to advancements in science, but you wouldn’t know it from listening to the wailing and gnashing of teeth by environmental extremists. It seems that every day brings news of some substance that will maim, injure or bring about Armageddon. The latest target of these extremists is the antibacterial agent Triclosan, a substance used safely and effectively for decades by millions of Americans.

Triclosan is found in soap, toothpaste, trash bags, toys, and hundreds of other products used daily by consumers. Although there is little-to-no data to back them up, an alliance of junk science organizations is petitioning the EPA to ban the use of Triclosan. Of course, when has the absence of facts ever stopped the left?

[On a side note, a quick trip around the web shows that the groups involved in this petition are serial petitioners and instigators of baseless lawsuits. And they are rewarded quite handsomely for their efforts, oftentimes by the very same corporations they claim to abhor.]

Here’s what we do know about Triclosan:

• The FDA has found it to be safe for use by humans.
• It has been used successfully to treat outbreaks of the superbug MRSA.
• It is used to effectively treat gingivitis and other oral diseases.
• It is used safely in nursing homes and hospitals to prevent the spread of bacteria.
• It’s been used safely for decades and there has never been any scientific data showing it to be harmful.

It is important that this issue be framed correctly. This is not a debate about the effectiveness of antibacterial products, but it is a debate about choice.

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California has many problems these days, including a severe water shortage.  Unfortunately, big-government policies at the federal level have made this problem far worse than it needed to be.

The natural drought has been exacerbated by a man-made drought:  draconian application of the Endangered Species Act that restricts the availability of water for irrigation.  Imposed to protect various species of fish, the water restrictions have led to fallowed farmland, unsustainable reliance on groundwater, which can cause land subsidence and environmental damage, and rampant joblessness in California’s Central Valley.

A glimmer of hope emerged this week when the U.S. District Court released a ruling finding serious flaws in one of the federal biological opinions that restricted water deliveries. The ruling could lead to increased water supplies for struggling farmers and ranchers in the Central Valley.

This is an important victory, but we must not to lose sight of the bigger picture, which is that the root of the problem lies in federal interference with state resources.

While I’m glad that the court’s latest ruling could lead to more water for California’s struggling farmers, I cannot forget that it was this same court that two years ago forced the federal government to restrict pumping under the Endangered Species Act.

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And that’s the point, I guess. Watch this ad for a “clean diesel” car by Audi, and good luck getting this slightly modified version of the Cheap Trick classic “Dream Police” out of your head. I couldn’t get it out with a lobotomy. It’s been playing off and on in my brain since it first aired during the Super Bowl.

But beyond the diddy, I also can’t get the vision of a fascist “green” future out of my head — even if it’s portrayed with a heavy dollop of of “Reno: 911“-style cop-show parody. Good comedy has to have a grain of truth in it to work, and this spot has plenty. It’s not just a peek at a ridiculous future, but a look at our “be green or else” present. An overreaction? Tell that to the chief of America’s Green Police, San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, who Tweeted:

“Ok .. That ‘green police’ Audi commercial hits home..”

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P.J. O’Rourke attended the World Environment Summit in Rio de Janiero in 1992, the confab that gave us the first “global warming” treaty, a document which Kyoto amended and the ongoing Copenhagen meeting is also to amend to get Kyoto II. There, he wrote, in the scrum caused by typical UN ineptitude an earnest lass cried out something along the lines of “this is what life would be like in an overpopulated world!” To which O’Rourke replied, no, dear, this is what life would be like in a world run by the United Nations.

Well, similarly, you may by now have heard that Copenhagen is proceeding in even worse than normal fashion, thanks to 45,00 attendees — either Party, Observer or Media — having been accredited. The hall being used holds 15,000. The spillover is not so much from the welfare-seeking countries and their delegates but delegates from non-governmental organizations (NGOs). These include mostly green pressure groups but also groups like the Competitive Enterprise Institute and the Chamber of Commerce.

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