The other night I watched a show called Dateline with “never seen before” footage of an interview between Jeffrey Dahmer and the reporter Stone Philips. For those of you too young to remember, Jeffrey Dahmer gained notoriety in the early 1990’s for being a particularly gruesome and repulsive homosexual serial killer. So, yes, curiosity got the better of me – I watched it. Although I admit, I couldn’t sit through the whole thing.

Stone Philips asked the obvious questions probing Dahmer’s father and mother as to why Jeffrey committed these horrific acts. He asked if there were any signs, indications, events in Jeffrey’s life that would give us a clue as to how this monster was created. Was Jeffrey molested as a child? Did the screaming in the doomed marriage cause this behavior? The parents came up empty. They didn’t see any signs; they didn’t know of any catastrophic events. Jeffrey wasn’t abnormal or deviant by anything they saw. And if they had seen something, they would have hoped they would have reacted appropriately.

Then Stone asked Jeffrey the same question. Why? What caused you to do these things? Candidly, Jeffrey simply answers that he was Godless.

Shocking isn’t it? Jeffrey explains that up until he was caught and put into prison he had been told that he was primordial ooze, a product of evolution. After being convicted, his father sent him some information explaining that God created the world and the people in it. At some point, Jeffrey realized that he had to answer to a higher being. He logically understood that primordial ooze doesn’t have to answer to anyone or anything; a created human being MUST answer to his Creator.

Good for Dahmer. Kudos for seeing the most basic answer to societies woes that are most “brilliant” scientists and educators refuse to see. Whether he really believed his words or not, he spoke truth.

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I’m not sure why I bothered to sign up for MySpace. My manager assured me that it would be good for my career, but that was a long time ago, way back when it was okay to call the President a liar. I signed up too late, because MySpace just isn’t cool anymore. The idea behind my page was to introduce a new generation to my stand-up comedy, and help me develop a fan base. Instead it’s making people think I’m a sexual predator. 

I get friend requests all the time now, from shirtless teenage boys who are into skateboarding, and old dudes, and I can tell right away, that it’s a cop. (I’m beginning to think there isn’t anybody really on MySpace anymore, just pedpophiles and cops.) Every police force in America has at least one or two full-time officers pretending to be teenagers, and trolling through MySpace at all hours of the day. They’re looking for depraved lonely men, longing to do something despicable, and arranging meet-ups at the mall. The next thing you know, they’re starring on “NBC Dateline: To Catch A Predator.”

Over the four years the NBC series was on the air “To Catch a Predator” host Chris Hansen made a lucrative career out of setting up old men with fictional teenagers. He also got a lot of those men arrested. Apparently, intent to contribute to the delinquency of a fictional teenager is a crime in many jurisdictions.

The show was cancelled in December 2008. I’m guessing the producers were finding it hard to trap perverts anymore. With so many cops on MySpace, and the teenagers moved on to other social networking sites, I would guess they were starting to get cops hooking up accidentally. I was always hoping to catch the episode where two cops at the mall suddenly realize they had spent the last month online, having cyber-sex with each other.

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