White House chief of staff William Daley is to step down and will be replaced by President Barack Obama’s budget chief Jacob Lew, a White House official said Monday.

Obama will announce the staff shake-up, which follows frequent reports that Daley had failed to gel with the president’s inner circle since he was appointed a year ago, in a public statement later Monday.

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JOE BIDEN:  [handing President phone]  Axelrod calling from Chicago, Boss.  He sounds pissed.

OBAMA:  Hey Axe!  Whassup?

No, I don’t know who leaked our decision to abandon blue collar whites.  Soon’s we find the S.O.B., we’ll dress him up like a banker and drop him into the middle of an OWS protest.

You’re kidding.  We gotta reverse course because word got out?

Okay, I understand: you want me and Joe to be regular people for a while.  Suggestions?

Avoid Camp David.  Fine.  Too rustic for my taste, anyway.  Anything else?

Wait until after the election to eminent domain Lafayette Square and build a White House pitch and putt complex?  No problem.  That it?

What?!  Aw, c’mon, man!  You can’t be serious.  That would demean the office of the Presidency.

All right, all right, I’ll do it.  Yeah, we’ll brainstorm more ideas, too.  Okay, later. [hangs up]

BIDEN:  Chief?

OBAMA:  First thing tomorrow, Joe, you and I begin hanging new drapery in the East Room.

JAY CARNEY:  I’ll alert the networks to have camera crews in place by 10:00 a.m., sir.

BILL DALEY:  Your 9:00 o’clock tee time with Tiger at Congressional, Mr. President?  I’ll call him and canc. …

OBAMA:  Ixnay!  SNL’s Fred Armisen owes me big for resuscitating his career.  Request his presence here at dawn in work clothes and cap.   Jay, don’t give the signal to start taping until Fred and Joe are atop their ladders.  No close ups.

(more…)

BILL DALEY: You shouldn’t have used the phrase “leading from behind” last spring when you spoke off the record about Libya, Mr. Vice-President.

BIDEN:  Well, I didn’t, Billy boy.  I said Hillary was leading with her behind.  Or maybe I said the whole NATO operation was like the blind leading the blind.  I don’t remember.  But the guy misquoted me.

OBAMA:  No lasting harm.  Research and Destroy knocked that off the front pages fast with the Cain revelations.

DAVID PLOUFFE:  Oh, Mr. President, the Smithsonian taxidermist just delivered Gaddafi’s head.

OBAMA:  Okay.  Tell Housekeeping to mount it above the mantel in the Residence, next to bin Laden’s.  And remind them to leave room for Baby Assad and Boehner.

VALERIE JARRETT:  Sir, the Libya bump is fading since Fox reported diehard Islamists have seized control of the country and Gaddafi’s massive stock of surface-to-air missiles.

BIDEN:  Damn Ailes, trying to make people think we shoulda known that could happen. (more…)

JAY CARNEY:  Sir, word from the Senate on your American Jobs Act.  Majority Leader Reid is complaining of constipation.  Says he’s been pushing since yesterday, but he can’t pass the bill.

OBAMA:  Merde!  After I did all the heavy lifting.  Damn do-nothing Congress.

VALERIE JARRETT:  Good thing you’re leaving the country next week, sir.  No one can blame you if the measure tanks when you’re abroad on official business.

OBAMA: Where am I off to?

BILL DALEY:  You’ll begin your working tour of Scotland’s golf courses on Monday, sir.  Meanwhile, the First Lady and several dozen close friends and family members are already aboard the presidential yacht, Alinsky, en route to the Galapagos for a holiday.

OBAMA:  Message her confirmation that we’ll rendezvous a week from Friday on the Côte d’Azur.  When do I return home?

DALEY:  Um, we want to be flexible, sir.  Tell him, Poll Boy.

CHUCK TODD:  Recent surveys indicate hiring spikes and an uptick in consumer confidence when you’re away, sir.  It’s as if some great weight was lifted from. . . . .

OBAMA:  I get it, Chuck.  All right.  Add Ireland to my itinerary.  Inform Michelle I’ll join her on the Riviera October 1^st.  Eric, do you have this “Gunwalker” thing under control? (more…)

BILL DALEY: Boehner’s office just called, sir.  He’s changed his mind.  Says you can address the joint session next Friday at 2:00 a.m.

OBAMA:  Cheeky b**tard.  All right, accept.  Eric, have Federal marshals available to round up and escort legislators to the Chamber.  Encourage them to be rough with Republicans.

JAY CARNEY: Our dirty tricks team affixed a wireless speaker under Joe Wilson’s seat, sir. We’ll trigger it to replay “You lie!” four minutes into your remarks.

BRIAN WILLIAMS:  Afterward, our technicians will enhance the audio, pinpoint the source, and nail him.  Wilson will deny, but voiceprint analysis confirms it’s his voice.

OBAMA:  And another firestorm.  Man never learns.

DAVID PLOUFFE:  Lotta voters throwing the Kool-Aid back in our faces, sir.  I wonder if a speech touting investment in urine-powered cars and prefabricated bamboo homes will help your numbers.

OBAMA:  Anyone with a better idea?

CARNEY:  Do a 180, sir: have a “Come-to-Jesus Moment” before the whole country, announcing you’ve finally realized you’re a socialist ideologue. (more…)

OBAMA:  Ryan’s the one who’s giving their caucus spine.  And he still won’t budge?

VALERIE JARRETT:  No, sir.  His family . . .  release them?

OBAMA:  Not yet.  Give it another day or two.  Let Mrs. Ryan have formula for the baby, though.

BILL DALEY:  What about Kucinich?  He’ll block the House from doing anything that passes muster with Senate Democrats.

OBAMA:  Get him on the horn.

[Daley dials, hands phone to President]

Hey Dennis, how ya doin’?  Look, if the Boehner plan blows up in the House, we think we can get the Senate to swallow the Reid Plan.  But first we have to get it through your chamber, and as long as you don’t . . . .  Well, yes, I remember our discussion.  [sighs] Yes, I agree to your terms.  [hangs up]

DAVID PLOUFFE:  What did you just promise him, sir?

OBAMA:  On my next overseas trip, we’ll install a booster seat in Air Force One’s co-pilot chair, and he’ll pretend to fly the plane.

JARRETT:  Well, that’s not too bad.

JOE BIDEN: I hate to bring it up, Boss, but I busted my butt with the Gang of Six, and uh, you said . . . . (more…)

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On today’s edition of Coffee and Markets, Brad Jackson is joined by Francis Cianfrocca to discuss the impending debt ceiling deadline, Mitch McConnell bowing to the Democrats, and how Francis would solve the problem.

We’re brought to you as always by BigGovernment and Stephen Clouse and Associates. If you’d like to email us, you can do so at coffee[at]newledger.com. We hope you enjoy the show.

Related Links:

Short debt limit hike possible: McConnell
How to Deal With the Debt Limit
Administration wants to send trade pacts to Congress before recess

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(more…)

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On today’s edition of Coffee and Markets, Brad Jackson and Ben Domenech are joined by Francis Cianfrocca to discuss the Barack Obama’s ATM comments this week, and his administration’s failed outreach to business.

We’re brought to you as always by BigGovernment and Stephen Clouse and Associates. If you’d like to email us, you can do so at coffee[at]newledger.com. We hope you enjoy the show.

Related Links:

Erick Erickson: Barack Obama Thinks an ATM Ate Your Job
White House’s Daley seeks balance in outreach meeting with manufacturers
GLOBAL MARKETS: European Stocks Slip; Banks Suffer On Greece Worries
Merkel, Sarkozy Agree Greek Aid Must Involve Investors
Why the Sign Must Say: No UBS in the USA

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[White House exercise facility]

MICHELLE:  Well, come in, people.  Geithner, Carney–get your skinny butts over here and spot for me while I press 250.  Everybody else, pull up a mat and sit so we can start.

JOE BIDEN:  Huh?  Why’s the Boss over in the corner in his PJs staring out the window?

MICHELLE:  Off the record.  He’s stressed out.  I’m running things until his therapist clears him for duty. Anybody got a problem with that?

DAVID PLOUFFE:  No Ma’m, but, uh . . . .

MICHELLE:  What happened?  Yesterday, he had to layup on the first par 5 at Burning Tree and couldn’t choose between a 6-iron and 7-iron.  Told his playing partners he wanted to sleep on it.  At dinner, a steward asked what flavor parfait he preferred for dessert.  Midnight, he was still muttering, “I like the strawberry, but the peach appeals to me, too.”

BILL DALEY:  Deteriorating decision-making skills.  It’s worse than when I came on board.  Hell, CIA knew where bin Laden was hiding since mid-2009.   The President couldn’t pull the trigger.  I had to use his autopen to sign the order okaying the Seal operation on Osama’s compound.

MICHELLE:  Hmmph.  Didn’t have a problem deciding on those chili dogs and stepping on my nutrition message the other day. (more…)

OBAMA:  So I said, “Damn right, George.  The Force is with me.”  Anyway, it’s official: Lucas will produce and Spielberg will direct Barack CoJones and the Compound of ISI, with Denzel Washington playing me and Cat Stevens as Osama. Release date: October 2012.

KATHLEEN SEBELIUS:  I’ll announce healthcare waivers for Paramount, Lucasfilm Ltd., and Amblin Entertainment at 3:00 a.m. Saturday morning, Mr. President.

DAVID PLOUFFE: We should beef up your macho bona fides in the short term, sir.

VALERIE JARRETT:  And tie it into family values.  Visit your destitute brother in Africa and give him a few bucks, sir.  Then go into the bush without your Secret Service detail and kill a lion with a spear.  Gutsier than Palin shooting a moose with a 30-06 at two hundred yards.

OBAMA:  Maybe I’ll do just that once I force Netanyahu to risk national suicide for a shot at peace.  Leon, where’s Iran at right now.

PANETTA:  [checks wall map] Same place as yesterday, sir.

OBAMA:  Militarily, Leon.

PANETTA:  Oh.  We estimate they’ll have one Hiroshima-level nuke by Labor Day.  As you ordered, sir, our forces in the region remain on alert and are prepared take out Israel’s air force if an attack on Iran appears imminent.

JARRETT:  That would certainly give the lie to wingnuts who say you don’t have the guts for preemptive action, sir.

BILL DALEY:  Biden’s here . . . I think.

(more…)

The Middle East is in flames, China will shortly rival our military power, trade deals needed to help our limping economy continue to lag, and the Washington Post reports the Administration is now engaged in a major diplomatic effort to improve relations with their own cabinet secretaries?

The lowlight:

“News this week of the first departure of a Cabinet secretary from the Obama administration comes amid a wide-ranging effort under the new chief of staff, William M. Daley, to repair badly frayed relations between the White House and the Cabinet.”

The “solution” includes the creation of a new “Cabinet Czar”…

“At the same time, the White House recently created the position of Cabinet communications director, appointing media adviser Tom Gavin to the job. The goal, according to the official statement, is ‘to better coordinate with and utilize members of the Cabinet’ and is a ‘high priority.’”

…even as the Post reports that part of the problem is the current “czars.”

“Part of the problem, people on both sides said, has been an abundance of issue specialists – the ‘czars’ – who manage matters on the environment and the economy within the West Wing. ‘The White House loops people out. The czars keep people from getting in,’ said one senior Democratic official who has fielded such complaints from three agency heads. ‘The level of frustration is pretty high.’”

(more…)

OBAMA:  Serendipity.   Egypt couldn’t have blown up at a better time.  Judge Vinson’s ruling on the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act got just a paragraph on A18.

ROBERT GIBBS:  Damn the Times!  It was supposed to be two sentences on B37.  Well, the distraction won’t last forever, sir.  It’ll be big news when the courts finally kill the PPACA. We need to deflect responsibility for the fiasco from you.

OBAMA:  Agreed.  Bob, at your next briefing, blast Republicans for goading me into signing the bill before I was able to study it.  Consigliere?

BILL DALEY:  Won’t do, sir.  Let’s get ahead of the wave.  Order Holder to join Virginia in seeking an expedited review of the health-care overhaul before the Supremes.  We take our medicine, lose 5-4, and walk away.

JOE BIDEN: Bad idea. We’d still be twisting in the wind for months. I say, throw your weight behind immediate Congressional repeal, Boss.  Cauterize the wound.  Start over fresh.

VALERIE JARRETT:  But . . . without the House, we can’t pass legislation covering the 145 million uninsured Americans and proto-citizens with preexisting conditions.

BIDEN:  Who’s sayin’ we wanna actually pass another bill?  The whole shebang blew up in our faces only after the Big Guy signed the original into law.

OBAMA:  Hmm.  So, when the act’s repealed, Democrats initiate another health-care debate and fight the good fight with no hope of a second devastating success in a divided Congress.  Stalemate.

(more…)

For some time now — here, here, and here — I have been arguing what at first must have seemed counterintuitive: that a great political realignment may be in the works.

Today, in The Washington Post, William M. Daley warns his fellow Democrats that they are in danger of bringing just such a realignment about. After alluding to the announced retirements of four centrist Democrats in the House and to Parker Griffith’s switch to the Republican side, Daley argues that “the Democratic Party — my lifelong political home — has a critical decision to make: Either we plot a more moderate, centrist course or risk electoral disaster not just in the upcoming midterms but in many elections to come.”

The political dangers of this situation could not be clearer.

Witness the losses in New Jersey and Virginia in this year’s off-year elections. In those gubernatorial contests, the margin of victory was provided to Republicans by independents — many of whom had voted for Obama. Just one year later, they had crossed back to the Republicans by 2-to-1 margins.

Witness the drumbeat of ominous poll results. Obama’s approval rating has fallen below 49 percent overall and is even lower — 41 percent — among independents. On the question of which party is best suited to manage the economy, there has been a 30-point swing toward Republicans since November 2008, according to Ipsos. Gallup’s generic congressional ballot shows Republicans leading Democrats. There is not a hint of silver lining in these numbers. They are the quantitative expression of the swing bloc of American politics slipping away.

Griffith and the Democrats who have decided to retire are, Daley says, “the truest canaries in the coal mine.”

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