JOE BIDEN: [handing President phone] Axelrod calling from Chicago, Boss. He sounds pissed.
OBAMA: Hey Axe! Whassup?
No, I don’t know who leaked our decision to abandon blue collar whites. Soon’s we find the S.O.B., we’ll dress him up like a banker and drop him into the middle of an OWS protest.
You’re kidding. We gotta reverse course because word got out?
Okay, I understand: you want me and Joe to be regular people for a while. Suggestions?
Avoid Camp David. Fine. Too rustic for my taste, anyway. Anything else?
Wait until after the election to eminent domain Lafayette Square and build a White House pitch and putt complex? No problem. That it?
What?! Aw, c’mon, man! You can’t be serious. That would demean the office of the Presidency.
All right, all right, I’ll do it. Yeah, we’ll brainstorm more ideas, too. Okay, later. [hangs up]

BIDEN: Chief?
OBAMA: First thing tomorrow, Joe, you and I begin hanging new drapery in the East Room.
JAY CARNEY: I’ll alert the networks to have camera crews in place by 10:00 a.m., sir.
BILL DALEY: Your 9:00 o’clock tee time with Tiger at Congressional, Mr. President? I’ll call him and canc. …
OBAMA: Ixnay! SNL’s Fred Armisen owes me big for resuscitating his career. Request his presence here at dawn in work clothes and cap. Jay, don’t give the signal to start taping until Fred and Joe are atop their ladders. No close ups.
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