Obama’s Second Term: A Cabinet of Curiosities
by Steve GrammaticoJanuary 23, 2013
White House, Cabinet Room
First meeting of President Obama’s new team
OBAMA: Listen up, people. I got myself across the finish line but couldn’t bring Congress along. That’s why you’re here. Except for Defense, you represent the first entirely recessed Cabinet in American history. Do me proud. Michelle?
MICHELLE: I’m the new Chief of Staff. You want to see him, you gotta get past me. Waste my time, I’ll cut your budget 10%.
OBAMA: So, let’s hear some fresh ideas. HHS?
MICHAEL MOORE: Now that the World Court has overturned the Supremes and ruled the PPACA [ObamaCare] constitutional, sir, amend the program to cover all humanity. Eventually, include lesser beings, as well. Innumerable uninsured creatures are suffering out there.
OBAMA: Easy, big guy; we’ll do it in stages. After people, we insure the remaining mammalians; then, things with legs; finally, air breathers. Treasury?
PAUL KRUGMAN: I’ve run the numbers, sir: Stimulus IV should tip the worldwide economy into depression within a year.
OBAMA: Good. That gets us closer to the one-world government mankind will demand I lead to left the—I mean, to right the ship. I’m getting bored with the Presidency, anyway. OMB? (more…)







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