Many fine Republicans argue we should privatize Social Security.  Just like George Bush – they are right.  They are noble.  They are dust.  The last time we mentioned it, we found our ass booted around our neck.  An obscene daisy. Ripe for the picking.  Smelling like death.

Not me.  I prefer to get in the mud, fight the weakest midget in the bar, and End Him.  I will fight dirty.  Because “defense of liberty demands extreme vice.” Or something.

Either way, we can always use a trick shot for 2010, and our trickiest shot is GOV2.0.

GOV2.0 loves the GOP.

If we were a boy band, GOV2.0 would throw her panties on stage.   And if we sing her a power ballad and hold all the right notes… GOV2.0 will certainly bring her hot friend, “Private $$ Accounts”, back to our room  for a threesome.

So pull on your spandex, Mike, and let’s go yodel in the valley.

The Social Security Administration has 64,000 employees, spread out over 1,600 local offices.   In 2009, it handled 42MILLION in office visits, and fielded 57MILLION calls.  Each customer makes one call and one office visit per year.

Yawn! The average McDonalds deals with 15X the number of customers an SSA office deals with daily… and they are open on holidays with a smile.

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It permeates the public’s consciousness and Big Media obsessively promotes the perception to our detriment.  Yet, like a canker on a suitor, polite Republicans won’t discuss it.  No longer, however, can we pretend the issue doesn’t exist.  It does and, though painful to admit, we must confront the truth.

Republicans have a “hip gap.”

This is not to say Democrats are hip.  People who squander their precious breaths of life poring over Das Kapital, practicing rhythmic chanting with Kindergarten lyrics, chaining themselves to national monuments and/or writing memoirs prior to accomplishing anything are utter stiffs.  They can only pass themselves off as cool in comparison to…well, us.

Oh sure, we’d like to think this is just another slanderous Leftist attack on Republicans.  But, let’s be honest:  a large gaggle of GOPers have yet to put a toenail into the Twenty-First Century’s cultural crosscurrents – or, for that matter, the Nineteenth’s.

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