‘Schoolhouse Barack’
by John K. HerrRemember Schoolhouse Rock, that civic-minded Saturday morning cartoon short from the 1970s? It’s time to update it for the Obama Era.
”I’m Just a Law”
LAW (singing): I’m just a law, yes I’m only a law,
And I don’t know why they passed me at all.
Cause — no — one — knows what is in me
No one’s read a darn word,
I was typed up last night
By a 20-year-old nerd,
But Pelosi twisted elbows all day.
How I hoped and prayed they would stall
But today, all in all, I’m a law.
BOY: Hello, Law, why so glum?
LAW: I’m two thousand pages long and no one’s even read me yet.
BOY: Then how did they pass you?
LAW: The Democrats used something called reconciliation.
BOY: Recon-what?
LAW: It means they can write any bill and pass it whenever they want. It’s against the rules.
BOY: That doesn’t sound very democratic.
LAW: Actually, it is! In a pure democracy, the majority rules.
BOY: But I thought we lived in a republic!
LAW: Me too, kid. Me too.
(singing) I’m just a law, yes I’m only a law,
And they don’t know what is in me at all.
Do — I — ban — incandescent light bulbs? Do I tax gasoline?
End health care as we know it, if you know what I mean?
Or maybe I just spend lots of dough,
Hey, you’ll never know, it’s too late
Because Nancy and Harry sealed your fate.
NANCY PELOSI: Hello, Law.
HARRY REID: Ready to reform health care?
BOY: Didn’t Congress already pass health care reform?
LAW: They did. But since the American people turned against it, they’re scared to bring the old bill up for a final vote.
PELOSI: I’m not scared. That’s just my eyebrows.
LAW (singing): I’ll be spreading the wealth, spending trillions on health,
I’m a single-payer system by stealth,
But — the — Republicans can’t stop me, even with Scotty Brown.
Obama said he’ll never let them vote my ass down.
I’m as popular as powdered anthrax,
Hey, they don’t mind the attacks,
‘Cause I’m one more excuse just to tax.
BOY: Look, it’s President Obama!
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Hello, Law. Pleased to meet you.
LAW: Wha — what are you gonna do with that pen?
OBAMA: Why, sign you, of course. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt — at first.
LAW: Oh, no!
PELOSI AND REID: Oh, yeah!
###
“Kill the Golden Goose”
BOY: Hey, Barry!
GIRL: What are you doing?
PRESIDENT OBAMA: I’m making dinner for all of us! How would you like roast goose?
BOY: Mmmm!
GIRL: But where will we get it?
OBAMA: Look!
(He points to a golden goose in the distance).
OBAMA (singing): Let’s go kill the Golden Goose
It means more food for me and you,
Kill the Golden Goose today,
Before she runs away!
OBAMA: Look at those breasts and thighs and legs!
GIRL: But doesn’t she lay golden eggs?
OBAMA (singing): Yes, but you don’t understand.
There are hungry folks throughout the land!
They need the food, don’t make them beg!
It’s better than a dumb old egg.
BOY: I thought the eggs helped mom and dad.
OBAMA: Listen, my naive young lad. The goose was put on this earth to help people. If she just lays golden eggs, the only person she ever helps is her owner! But if we kill her, we can serve ALL Americans, not just the wealthy few.
(singing) What good is a lump of gold
When you’re starving, shivering in the cold?
So let’s go kill the Golden Goose
It means more food for me and you
Kill the Golden Goose today,
Before she runs away!
BOY: How did the goose get so fat?
OBAMA: Let me tell you a story. Long before you were born, a man named Ronald Reagan decided to feed the goose instead of the people. He wanted it to lay more eggs for its owners. He called it “trickle-down.”
BOY: That’s greedy.
GIRL: And unfair!
OBAMA: But we put a stop to that. Before we got here, geese ran wild. Now they’re regulated –
BOY: — like a child!
GIRL: Wait a minute — has PETA heard?
OBAMA: Yes, they can’t wait to axe THIS bird!
(singing) So let’s go kill the Golden Goose
It means more food for me and you
Kill the Golden Goose today,
Before she runs — uh oh!
(Taxpayers holding pitchforks appear).
TAXPAYER 1: All right, Barry, let her be.
TAXPAYER 2: It’s not your bird, it’s owned by me.
TAXPAYER 3: Without this goose, we’d all be poor.
OBAMA (shaking his fist): Next time your goose is cooked, for sure!
###
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Schoolhouse Barack: “Cap’n Trade: Anti-Capitalist Pirate of the High Seas.”
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
89 Comments
This is GREAT!
What about Tyranasourus Debt – another School House Rock.
I'm just not in the mood for funnin about this.
How dare these f's do this to our country and our Constitution. They cannot go around it!
This must be stopped.
They actually think you like it.
69,000,000 voted for this right?
Try to find someone who will admit they voted for BO and remind them what is happening. You might have to inform them since they are so busy watching American Idol. 1/2 probably don't even care.
Time for the pitch forks
Whew.
That one went plumb over my head.
Perhaps I need to lighten up, and not take this fight so seriously.
Remember.
It is not the number of people who voted that count.
It is all in the counting of the votes.
For all we know, there is a provision in that bill that does away with the Constitution. If they vote for it, then its done.
Now that is scary.
Barack Husein Obama Mmm Mnn Mm
Barack Husein Obama Mmm Mnn Mm
Equal pay for equal work Mmm Mnn Mm
Barack Husein Obama Mmm Mnn Mm
I'm with HarryTuttle on this one. If I try to force a smile my 'warface' won't fit right.
If they can ignore the Constitution here then we might as well not have one. They can do whatever they want.
It's serious, sorry.
Equal pay for equal work.
WELCOME TO THE LAND OF THE SOVIETS WHERE LABOR IS FREE
Where global warming is evidenced by the coldness of the air.
Where we need to spend ourselves out of debt.
And it will all be televised on CSPAN.
Really citizen, really.
Obama and his little gang know their Marx
Don't be sorry.
It is serious. Real serious.
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
Frank Zappa
Brilliant . . . I'm singing along right now!
Not to my liking either. I am not that simple minded, yet. Our fight to keep America free and true does not need cutesy and quaint. I am always open one liners. Just my two-cents before taxes.
I know brother. Fuck the bozos!
I feel your pain, Harry.
We make jokes here to make ourselves feel a little better. But we are ALL major pissed.
My wife, who in the past has asked me to stop yelling at the nightly news, is now screaming at the TV.
Our problem is the kids, 30's and under, most don't want to know. Others are on our side, but too many of the rest have sucked up the kool aid. WE ARE ANGRY! ANGRY! ANGRY! and if our reps don't do the right thing—we have to do something—maybe even the unspeakable.
Uh, oh. Bad word, but under the circumstances, very good.
My daughter, a junior in college, has decided to abandon her dream job of becoming an Occupational Therapist because of this healthcare debacle. Dropped that bombshell on me last night. Can I blame her? No. Yeah, so no smiley faces from me today, either.
Hmmm.
Thats kindly blunt.
I like blunt. Leaves no margin for misinterpreted communication.
I echo your sentiments.
This is very serious. The fateof our Republic hangs in the balance.
Ha, ha. He was pretty funny sometimes. And smart.
How about the Supreme Court singing "Injuction Junction" and putting a stop to this congress and their unconstitutional actions.
One liners? Me too. It must be my ADD.
"Grab them by the balls. Their hearts and minds will soon follow"………
Funny, smart, and could really play guitar. And right.
conservatives need to start producing their own little kids education videos to help them understand the inane concepts of progressive (dare I say) thought. Simple cartoons that explain the constitution and bill of rights and what it means to become self-sufficient and to take pride in our accomplishments.
I'm working on a letter on this to Representative John Hall (D) this is a part of my intro. Evertime I heard Mark Levin rail about this travesty I could get the image of the School House Rock Bill out of my head! That poor bill. Let it die so we can live free.
This has to be unconstitutional. Please someone tell me this will be challenged all the way to the highest court in the land.
Look for a silver lining there.
If your daughter is smart enough to go to college, she is way smart enough to enter politics. Tell her to get active and help effectuate the changes we need.
SK.
Great idea!
PS: I looked in my spam folder. Still no email. Resend it.
"Movin' to Montana sooooon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon…"
"Watch out where tha huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow…" F.Z.
Several states including South Carolina and my great state of Texas have Attoney's General preparing court challenges in the woks.
The madate for EVERY citizen to buy insurance and the shift of Medicare/Medicade cost burden to the states are probably unconstitutional.
Is that a real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?…
just now sent it to your yahoo
SK, tell me where to send the jack? Who was that guy above,to whose daughter told
him last night she was not going to OT School? Here's a job for her.
"Wind up workin' in a gas staaaaaation, wind up workin' in a gas station…"
The mystery man came over
And he said "I'm outta sight!"
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of
His pressing affairs and devote
His attention to me
But I said "Look here brother
who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me"
That had to be back in the day before it was so fashionable to be a Communist…I wonder what Zappa would have thought about things today…if he too would have swallowed the Kool Aid.
I have heard a Dem's on Fox who opposes it say it will not be repealed if it is passed…this is where everything gets so convoluted to me. I have seen where others have said the same thing…Where do they come off saying this?
Can I use this? I’ll make a mint onstage at local bars.
Indeed…..the unspeakable.
By whatever means it takes, the citizens must be awakened!!! Jack risked all to climb the beanstalk to retrieve the "Golden Goose"!! Achieving security and wealth no matter how humble, is a time consuming project for most, to have it stolen/commandeered by governors or anyone else (Those authorized by them) is devastating to the industrious gatherers!!! Lock up your supplies, the revenuers are coming to take what they want (Your golden goose and all things of success, it represents)!!
I really don't know. I know amendments have been repeeled like the what, 19th or 21st?
The Prohibition Act was over turned in 1933 (?) so no law has to be forever. Maybe someone that really knows how it works will explain it to us.
Our federal government is a freak show. The only problem is, it's far too sad to be funny. Laws are jokes, as taken by the ones who write them. Unfortunately, for those who live under them, it's oppression.
I agree. What kind of ding bat would say "well we have to pass it to see what's in it". Honestly this is like watching a really, really bad B horror movie. No, I can't even explain how this has affected me. Maybe I am taking it too seriously. If they pass this, they will pass cap and trade and there will be no stopping them peacefully. I just keep praying.
Funny, but sad all at the same time…I'm sure there is some really big German word for that!
Don't look to California for help, the people here are so apathetic, it's pathetic. Someone please tell me I am not the only one in California outraged by all of this.
Your not Holly.
I am on the same page
A dingbat who knows she can get away with it.
no,
I don't think so.
Even at that time he thought for himself.
Something I learned a long time back,
Whatever is going to happen at this point,
there is nothing we can do to change it.
We must not allow this situation to deflate or demoralize
the force which has begun to awaken in the form of the
TEA party movement or any of the other GRASSROOTS
movements around the country. Use the righteous anger
and move forward, into the battle. Give no quarter and take no prisoners
At this point it is just a skirmish albeit a large one.
Remember,
A year ago 0'bama and his handlers thought this would be a walk in the park.
The park turned into a battlefield.
Zappa wasn't much into politics,tho he was clearly a libertarian…
'His anti-authoritarian politics have had global impact, playing a part in the collapse of communism in the early '90s. Zappa's music inspired the 1989 Velvet Revolution in Czechoslovakia, after which he became close friends with former Czech President Vaclav Havel. He was offered a cabinet post in Czechoslovakia but turned it down'.
"They even erected a statue to him in Lithuania," Klein says. "He was so important to people in Eastern Europe because his music represented the freedom they fought for."
Repealing an Amendment is one thing, I know that can be done, but a law passed by Congress would be a different process. I think that is where it becomes a difficulty. Not really sure though. I need to ask bronxzionist next time I see a post, he/she seems to have a vast knowledge about law.
Thirty four states are at various stages of Constitutional changes and or challenges of this Bolshevik plot.
I had no idea of his politics…I need to ask my husband if he was aware of it after all he is the fan in the family. Thanks wldbil!
Now I have done it, my hubbie is walking around singing Zappa tunes….
Good idea. I'll do some looking up on the subject. We have some lawyers around here, maybe one can let us know.
It could be that the agencies so i essence the law could be "defunded". Starved of our $$$$.
Defunding has been used in the past and it does work. I just wish there had been some elaboration with that guy on Fox…I am sure it will become moot or of great importance real soon here.
I honestly believe we need to start repealing entitlement programs, because soon there is going to be anything left to fund…hell we are already there. We are funding our gov by just cranking up the ole money printer as we speak…
wierfukenscresun?
Jim Treacher and Batton Lash did their takeoff on this a year ago: http://jimtreacher.com/archives/001991.html
I do know a few people who voted for this joke, and yes they are very 'shocked' – I couldn't believe anyone with a brain would vote for him, most were too blinded by their hatred of Bush, which was the best marketing tool BO had since clearly he had NOTHING else!
I agree hippie, dwelling on what can't be changed is debilitating – better to turn it outward and use the energy to move forward – it's their constant chattering as if they are truly deaf as well as dumb, that sometimes it's overlooked how very far we've come -
You might have just stumbled onto something big here.
If hatred of Bush was the best marketing tool that Barrack Obama had, then just imagine the marketing tool that SOMEONE is going to have when they run against Obama in 2012. There will be such a groundswell of hatred, that Obama will be run out of DC on a greased rail.
oder leidervergnugen
I remember it so clearly CL, listening all day everyday to the constant stream of 'we hate Bush', honestly a freakin kid could have won based on that – it made me think of hitler's success, he rallied people up over their 'hatred' of the Jews – for the conservatives to do anything as effective would require a more careful strategy – and I've been thinking of this for quite some time -
I know the Preamble by heart because of School House Rock! Taught it to my niece when she started school…she told me she didn't need it until her senior year…and thats the only part of the Constitution they covered!!!!
Plenty pissed in San Diego!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I try every day to convince my girlfriend to move back to my native Texas…
Thanks for the optimism. She has considered politics, for sure. She meets with her advisor on Tues, and is want for any 21 year old, we'll discuss this over beer and pizza later in the week.
sounds like a winner
It comes from the congress critters never having repealed ANY entitlement they've put through.
Oh my,
you are not one of those that brings up stuff from like 20 years ago
are you?
WHAM
up long side the head
with something long forgotten in the male mind
only to be used at a time when we males cannot
defend against it
times like that I run for the nearest hiding spot
shaking like a little puppy
Possibly it would, but it would be soo satisfying to watch obombus hoist by his own petard.
[...] Barak. The old civics course updated for the modern era. Who cares about that musty old constitution, anyway? [...]
That's right. Reelection is king, and no one, but no one, will ever repeal the "free money" stuff. They rely on idiots to get elected.
Lolly Lolly Lolly get your handouts here!
12 Trillion, it's the magic number…
There are quite a few in Santa Clarita.
Related poster parody: The Slaughter-Rule Massacre (note the "I'm Just a Bill" guy in corner): http://optoons.blogspot.com/2010/03/slaughter-rul...
I guess that is why it needs to become a platform for GOP candidates to run on……especially if they cram the healthcare bill down our throats.
[...] ‘Schoolhouse Barack’ [...]
My daughter just performed in School House Rock Jr Live this past weekend. I kept wanting to jump up and yell "Kill The Healthcare Bill" during the Bill song.
No…He is the greatest and I must admit to you that that is about only thing I could ever zing him on…that pretty much says how blessed I have been for 29 years this June and we have known each other for 31…and were still having fun.
lol
thats fantastuc
WHO WILL STAND ON EITHER HAND AND KEEP THIS BRIDGE WITH ME?
– Horatius
[...] [...]
The visual of a cartoon obama talking about government to my kids on Saturday mornings is enough to keep me up all night.
[...] Schoolhouse Barack [...]
Websites you should visit…
[...]below you’ll find the link to some sites that we think you should visit[...]……
puppy breeders The of these blogging engines and CMS platforms is the demand of limitations and assuage of use that allows developers to implement colourful substance and ‘skin’ the place in a way that with less travail one would never observe what i…
The of these blogging engines and CMS platforms is the demand of limitations and assuage of use that allows developers to implement colourful substance and ‘skin’ the place in a way that with less travail one would never observe what it is making the c…
You must be logged in to post a comment.