Mullah Omar Wants Peace! (And He’s Got Killer Deals on Oceanfront Condos in Kandahar too)
by Brad ThorAfter decades of fighting the Soviets, the Americans, and the current Karzai Afghan government, Mullah Omar has turned over a new leaf; at least according to this article. All along he’s just been a misunderstood guy who probably couldn’t pay his mortgage, right?

For those of you not familiar with Mullah Omar, he’s the founder of the Taliban, its spiritual leader, and Osama bin Laden’s BFF. When Afghanistan was ruled by the Taliban, Omar was the country’s titular head who oversaw the beatings of anyone who didn’t adhere to one of the “strictest interpretation[s] of Sharia law ever seen in the Muslim world,” the shooting of women in the head in front of packed soccer stadiums of cheering fans, and the destruction of 1700 year old Buddhist statues.
Suddenly this crafty recluse has abandoned his long, careful use of couriers, and now allows his statements to be put out directly by his former nemesis, the Afghan government. Maybe Karazi has even installed a red phone on his desk for Omar just like Glenn Beck! Isn’t that awesome? We don’t even need a “Can’t we all get along” moment. It’s already here!
And what’s even better is that Omar’s latest missive, the one where he’s preaching peace with the same government who put out the statement for him, comes right before President Karzai’s much ballyhooed peace jirga. Wow! What are the odds? The timing on this one couldn’t be better, could it?
Even cooler is that many of the Taliban players Karzai has tapped to attend the jirga will be getting paid! That’s even better than passing out doctor coats at a healthcare presser. After all, you can’t trade lab coats for guns, bullets, and roadside bomb making materials.
Everything is falling into place. To think, that someone would upset the applecart by suggesting that Mullah Omar actually wasn’t enthusiastically participating in this historic, unprecedented event. It sounds to me as if this is going to be like Woodstock, only with hummus!
Of course, for this narrative to work we’ll have to ignore a few things like those pesky internet reports of Mullah Omar actually being in Pakistani custody, his ditching his courier system for a snazzy new Karzai appointed spokesman, and the fact that the Taliban’s governing body, the Quetta Shura has been in utter disarray since right about the time he “allegedly” disappeared.

Now, some might let the fact that no one in the Quetta Shura has heard from Omar bother them. That same person might have a problem with the fact that a real power struggle has developed between two of Omar’s top made men: Mullha Mansour and Mullah Zakir. In fact, the host of other issues plaguing the Quetta Shura (that would normally be settled by Omar if he were actually around) could bring us down, but we’re not going to let that happen! Why spoil such a great narrative? After all, everyone loves peace right?
I know I do, especially when it comes tied up with such a nice little ribbon. Time to pass the hummus!






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157 Comments
It's a fake out.
Obama's plan is to tell them we are pulling out of Afghanistan in 14 months and they are playing the peace card to make sure we go. Obama is a slow learner and in over his head.
It's all because obama unclenched his fist. all of it.
/sarc off
Why don't we just let them all kill each other and pour all of our war money into defense, literal defense like a border wall and better airport security?
Ummm, it's hummus! Unless, of course, you mean, "Humus is the stable, long lasting remnant of decaying organic material." That I could agree with!
Right. After hating us like demons for how many thousands of years, today he wants to make love now and not war? String him up like a piñata, fellas, and have at him.
Is that top picture Mullah Omar?…If it is, he looks like a clean-cut
madman….Who wouldn't believe whatever comes out of his mouth?
Who the heck are the two fruitcakes wearing guy-liner in the bottom pic??? Mullha Mansour and Mullah Zakir??? If so, then resurrect GWB's famous "Bring it on" and let our guys waste these girly-men. No wonder Afghan dancing boys fear for their anal virginity.
Those pictures are all of his wives. Except for the camel.
So, Brad, when are you going to admit that the whole "Mullah Omar has been captured by the Pakis" never happened?
I detect some bitterness in your article…
Hey, remember when Mullah Omar visited the White House and was a freedom fighter?
Good times, good times.
Reagan sure knew how to pick his allies.
Only becuase the camel was betrothed to another….
IGNORE THE CRETIN, FREE SPEECH
I just have to comment on the picture. That headband… LOL he MUST be trippin.
We also worked with Stalin, FS… and we also fought the Brits before they were staunch allies.
Are you still upset that NBC canceled "Knight Rider"? This stuff changes, FS. That doesn't mean there is a problem or a hidden agenda.
Truth hurts, doesn't it?
And the winner of the Tommy Chong look alike contest is……..
Remember when the communists controlled a good part of Europe? Oh, that's right, you miss those days.
Start posting some truth and we'll find out.
So why can't we work with the Taliban again then?
If Mullah Omar was good enough for Reagan, he's good enough for us now.
Hey, remember when Mullah Omar visited the White House and was a freedom fighter?
Good times, good times.
Reagan sure knew how to pick his allies.
Loser.
I'd rather have communists than Islamic fascists who worship death.
.
Are we going to repeat the same thing over and over?
Okay, let's think, is it better to have a few belligerent muslims in the mountains feel empowered or the Soviet Union get their hands on the mideast? I think you know.
Truth Hurts, doesn't it?
The enemy of your enemy is also your enemy.
That's the lesson of 9/11.
Ignore the troll who has no life, M. These trolls have as much access to history as we do–let them look this stuff up themselves or die ignorant.
You know they're clueless, so why bother.
And the bigger, stronger enemy is a bigger, more dangerous threat and, therefore, should be dealt with first.
If it's a boring day at work, I like playing whack-a-troll. It's like whack-a-mole without the poor innocent creatures getting hurt.
Let's weigh these alternatives… Communists with nukes or islamic fascists with stinger missiles. I think you see the point.
Ignore the freaking troll Badda.
Just because you keep repeating, doesn't mean anyone will agree with you. We all know how to cut and paste.
Aww. I detect some bitterness in your post. You know, considering NOBODY is outright denying Thor's scoop.
100% Withdrawal tomorrow… from Afganistan and Iraq.
Would probably scare Iran, knowing that our military is free'd up….
Nobody's confirmed it, either.
I can make a statement like "there's a pink unicorn inside the sun" and have nobody deny it nor confirm it.
The communists were held in check because they didn't want nuclear war.
Tusken raiders are suicidal and want to die.
Btw, where did they get the stinger missiles from?
You could make deals with the communists and keep them in check with MAD, because they wanted to live as much as we do.
Jihadists don't care and that makes them worse.
"He disagrees with me, therefore he must be a troll!"
Nice logic there, ignorant-boy.
And domestic missile defense.
"Mullah Omar, now wants to embrace us all and make love"
Oh, that is just one UGLY image.
Again, you could keep the Russians in check with nuclear weapons.
That doesn't work on jihadists who are willing to die if it means hurting the US in the process.
They believe their reward is in heaven, so they are completely irrational.
"Waaaahh, he's saying things that make my talking points look stupid!"
No, I'm not. You're taking care of looking stupid all by yourself.
The camel's named Monica.
Please, refute my points posted above instead of trying to insult me.
No. He's an IDIOT, so he's a troll.
You trolls never get it quite right.
We've got another option.
2B IGNORANT = 2B LIBERAL
I like it, too, because it's true.
Obama embraces terrorists, troll, so why again are you trying to deflect the blame backward??? Always lying, you liberals. Always lying and conniving and deflecting guilt and blame. Because you're pathological. You're developmentally arrested. But you don't realize this.
Truth? What would a liberal know about truth? Seriously. Don't you all wish you could still recognize right from wrong?
What sad spectacles you essentially are.
"They believe their reward is in heaven"
So let's give them their reward.
Thank you for the info. I am glad when I get the straight answer, from someone who isn't tryingn to please his agenda. Yeah this is all trash. When a teen gets caught doing wrong, immediately he has the reasons why. Please in a free society where teens are allowed to speak, this is all teenage mind games. This guy, has never been caught, never been accountable and now he does what every teen does on his first, caught ya. The sad thing is only teens play this game on parents that will play with them. Never ask for an exscuse, why, it will always be dishonesty. Great parents give consequences based on behavior not emotional issues with lengthy babbles of reasoning. Please.
Maybe we can. Maybe not. What's in it for the US?
You're still coming at it from the "you guys think the sun shines out of Reagan's ass" and you're asking the question as a way to bash Reagan conservatives and Reagan Democrats.
Stick to the point, drop the snark, and make a real point… otherwise, go get your shinebox.
Except it's "commies with nukes" or "islamic fascists with nukes next week". Then the latter is the bigger threat because at least the Soviets aren't quite batsh!t crazy and in love with death.
If St. Reagan the anointed made deals with the devil, why can't Obama?
Please, I know it's something to do, but it's such a waste of time and effort. I'd rather watch them illuminate their ignorance by what they post–for me, that's becoming fun.
How freaking unread can people be, for crying out loud. Speaking of unread, I haven't noticed any posts from 'mikatrollah' lately. I wonder if he/she didn't rename themselves.
You'll not be the one dying on a battlefield, so your tough-guy talk is cheap.
Grow up.
OK, let's start with this. When did mullah omar visit the white house? He was born in 1959, so at best he would have been in his late 20's during such a visit (if it actually happened).
I can find no record of this occurring, so why don't you start by telling the truth.
A lot of people believe America can only move its weight around by moving its military in. But we can also move our weight around by moving our military OUT. Even the threat of moving our forces out of Europe could become a major global influence, for instance.
http://outofcentralasianow.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/mullah-omar-with-president-reaganovaloffice.jpg
http://thecable.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2010/05/11/pakistani_official_no_we_didnt_capture_mullah_omar
Getting a little frustrated, Flea Speech?
No, I just don't think that trying to kill all the jihadists will help, especially since they're willing to die if it means hurting US troops.
Can't access that website from here, but I'll take your word for it… for now. Was he the leader then, or just along for the ride as some low level aide?
Do you honestly believe that everyone obama is trying to make nice with will still be considered a saint in 25 years or so?
Good Point!
Pull out the troops. Send in the nukes. There. Now all your fears are assuaged.
I deny there is a pink unicorn inside the sun. Idiot.
http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/photographs/large/c12820-32.jpg
However, the support we gave them was not a nuclear weapon. We gave them stinger missiles. I understand that Islamic fanatics are crazy, but giving them some simple weaponry is not going to put them on the path to nuclear weapons.
Again, you're brickbatting.
You miss the part where President Reagan didn't make a deal with the devil… we made a deal with a jackass so we could beat the devil. As with Stalin. As with Iraq. As with a number of bad guys.
Dude, you don't get it. Go get your shinebox.
However, the stingers were given to stop soviets. The fact that they still have a few outdated missiles lying around doesn't prove your argument that we made them. We didn't let them get destroyed, but we also didn't let Russia have control of the world. We did not do anything to make them disproportionately powerful.
Hell, we have drones and cruise missiles. We don't even need to waste our nukes on them.
Prove it.
Thank you, we hear so much complaining about not giving it to Poland but then we don't even have a well-developed system here.
You guys are going to get in trouble for that picture of Mohamed at the top. And regarding the two guys at the bottom, where are the other 70 virgins?
They were trained by the US military, got logistical and monetary support from the US which made them well-prepared for their next wave of terrorist attacks against the US and the West.
And Russia was falling apart even before the Afghanistan war, so even a victory there would've meant nothing.
OK, it's a picture of a bunch of Islamic guys with Ronald Reagan. What does that prove? Are you saying that all Muslims are terrorists?
Racist.
Yes, and they were trained how to shoot down Russian helicopters, blow up Russian tanks, and ambush Russian soldiers. These have little to nothing to do with flying planes into buildings or putting a shoddy bomb in the back of an SUV. If Russia had been able to control the entire oil supply for Europe by means of the middle east, I don't think Russia would have been in such dire straits anymore. You tend to ignore half of the truth and focus on the other half. If you ever decide to look at all of it, then your opinions might be valid.
It's the Mujahideen, the brave Afghani freedom fighters meeting with Ronald Reagan.
"These gentlemen are the moral equivalents of America's Founding Fathers."
– Ronald Reagan.
So which one is Mullah Omar? That's what you were claiming.
And maybe they WERE the moral equivalents when Reagan said it. That doesn't mean they always retained that status, nor does it mean that they are today.
First of all, the US military probably taught them bomb-making skills as well as how to sabotage Russian supply lines using easily available tools.
Improvise, Adapt, & Overcome?
Ever heard that before?
Second, organizational skills are as important as technical skills.
The Taliban is not the Mujahidin. Some Mujahidin groups became Taliban, others did not.
You've heard of Iran's ambitions re nuclear power for "peaceful" purposes, no doubt. Do you believe it's for power generation only? Do you think that if they are fighting proxy wars against Israel via Hamas and against us via insurgents in Iraq, that they will NOT assist terror groups in obtaining and using nuclear materials for attacks against the U.S.?
Stinger missiles are not the prized weapon of terrorists. Nuclear weapons are.
Second from the right.
They are still Muslim fundamentalists and fanatics on a Jihad against the world.
And your source for this is??? And you still haven't answered my point that they many no longer be the moral equivalents of our founding fathers. I recall Benedict Arnold was one person who changed his status.
Unfortunately, obama CUT funding for domestic missile defense by $50 billion. Of course he just wanted to "trim the budget" so he could commit that $50 billion to bailing out Greece.
Just contact the Reagan library and they'll tell you.
The Mujahideen didn't change their world view, they just went after the US after the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Sorry, the comment wasn't meant to be taken literally. Just wanted to use one of those old, lame and worn out sixties gingles. You're right–that is one nasty visual.
And who's going to pay for this?
Attacking a large part of the world isn't exactly cheap.
Still no answer. Troll….
Not all of them were on a jihad against the world, many of them were simply fighting to keep their way of life. The fact that people such as Osama bin Laden took advantage of the situation does not change the original issues they were fighting about.
Exactly, I think we're misunderstanding each other. I was saying that when the U.S. gave stinger missiles to the Afghans when they were fighting the Soviets we did not put them on some path to being armed with nukes.
What's this picture Harry Reid at Woodstock? Got hold of some real bad Acid man… it's a bummer.
The Colors, I see Colors wow man…
This picture is from the Reagan library.
Look it up yourself and contact the library directly if you don't believe me.
I don't get that picture with the two guys–heck, I thought they were two homosexual arabs.
Besides, you can't tell that it's him just by looking at pictures of Mullah Omar when he was young?
You really don't see it?
What do you mean 'look-alike'? That's NOT Tommy Chong?
Do you think that they were not going to figure out how to ambush a supply line on their own? Or make a simple bomb? Organization is very easy with the internet, so the idea that somehow the terrorist networks that we are fighting today couldn't have existed without us doesn't appear true. A bunch of loser kids in Philadelphia can 'flashmob' with facebook and cell phones, I don't think any of them were trained by the military.
Apart from the organizational skills and military training that we gave the Mujahideen, we also gave them confidence to attack superpowers.
Today, the Soviet Union, tomorrow, the world.
A link? You're offering on-line links to prove your argument? Well, if it's on-line then that's got to be accurate information.
Are you being sarcastic troll?
No wonder this dope is in Office. Get out of here.
The Internet was not available outside of government and academia in the 1980s.
Fine, contact the Reagan library and ask them about the picture then.
Or drive over there yourself and check it out.
How many islamic terrorist attacks occurred in the US in the 1980's?
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