Tim Slagle

Tim Slagle

Tim Slagle is now a Pandora Channel. You can create a channel on your smart phone or other Internet device, based on the comedy performances of Tim Slagle.

He also publishes on Big Governmnet and Big Journalism.

He is a political satirist who has apperead on national comedy and television news shows, most recently on Fox News Redeye, and the Bob and Tom Show.

He has had articles published on Townhall.com, and is a contributing editor for Liberty Magazine. He produced ”The Mudslingers Ball,” a short run TV series for KSTP-TV Minneapolis/St. Paul.

His first cd, “Europa,” was released in October of 2006 on Stand Up! Records and is available on iTunes and Amazon.

He can also be seen at comedy clubs, political functions and fundraisers nationwide. For more information, visit www.timslagle.com.

Poll Dancing Through America’s Safety Net

by Tim Slagle

Wednesday night, the House of Representatives overwhelmingly passed H.R.3567; The Welfare Integrity Now for Children and Families Act of 2011; which makes it illegal to use an EBT card in a strip club, liquor store or casino. The concern began, shortly after welfare recipients were issued funds electronically through ATMs, when Welfare Reform passed in 1996. Since then there has been a disturbing trend of welfare not being spent on the things people think welfare should be spent on.

And I don’t understand that concern. It is the theory of most Democrats that giving money to people stimulates the economy. It should be of no concern to anyone whether that money is used to stimulate patrons of a strip club, liquor store owners, or casino magnates (who BTW are often HUGE political contributors).

The bill is almost completely futile. It won’t insure that welfare money is not spent at a strip club; it only means that the ATM at the gas station across the street from the strip club is going to see a lot more traffic.

This is just the kind of government bias, that gives legitimate business a bad name. Certainly those girls are working as hard as any SEIU employee; whose pensions were paid out of stimulus funds, while they protested in Wisconsin. Money spent on bikini wax, cover stick, and glittery lingerie will trickle down through the economy just like any other stimulus package.

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Clown Cars: The Disastrous Results of Lawyers, Not Gearheads, Running the Auto Industry

by Tim Slagle

For years, the lawyers have not been able to resist instructing the auto industry. Since Ralph Nader began tinkering in the sixties, cars have gone from iconic to ridiculous. We have seen great cars like the Impala turned into a tiny little go-cart filled with airbags and other safety equipment. While I do not begrudge those of us who like safety equipment (after all, that’s why God created Volvos), I long for some of the breathtaking muscle cars of my youth–the proud beasts of an era gone by.

Lawyers cannot fix cars. The talent required for turning a wrench is not the same talent you use when twisting a contract. Most attorneys are not as comfortable working beneath the hood of a car as they are running behind an ambulance. So a wise nation keeps attorneys as far away from their automotive plants as possible.

But change has again found its way into the auto industry. No longer content to direct the industry from the back seat, this Administration has planted itself firmly behind the steering wheel. After taking over General Motors and selling Chrysler to Fiat (an Italian manufacturer best known for its expensive short-lived replacement parts), they invested half a billion taxpayer dollars into the the Fisker–Al Gore’s car of the future. There is no question who is driving the industry into the second decade of the new millennium.

But it’s not going as smoothly as planned. Just recently, the electric Fisker recalled its entire product line for problems that could lead to the cars catching on fire. I guess the future just came a little too early. It seems the problem is not unique to the Fisker either. A Chevy Volt burst into flames while ironically parked over at the Safety Administration. Nothing says “Green” more than black smoke car fires.

In an effort to stem the worst PR event since the Ford Pinto, GM offered Volt owners loaner cars until they could figure out what caused the fire. When two more blew up, they actually offered to buy them all back, resulting in the largest one-day sale of Volts in the history of the nameplate. (more…)

Tea Party Embodies the Order of a Republic, #OWS Embodies the Chaos of a ‘Democracy’

by Tim Slagle

Occupy Wall Street has often been compared to the Tea Party; I think it’s usually meant as an insult. By comparing the grass roots protest of the Tea Party to the amalgam of radicals at Occupy, they can diminish  the Tea Party’s success and make all protests distasteful to the general public.

There is little similarity. While the Tea Parties were neat and orderly, the Occupy protests are noisy, juvenile, and stinky. The Tea Parties were friendly while the Occupy movement is violent, angry, and crime ridden; they have the same problem with lawlessness that plagues most Democrat-controlled cities.

#OccupyBastille

This explains why there is such a vast difference between the two. The Occupy movement is not only mostly Democrat; it is also democratic. Likewise, the Tea Parties are both a republic and Republican. They are microcosms of the political philosophies they each represent.

Tea parties are controlled by the rule of law and are planned in advance. They acquire proper permits, rent PA systems, Porti-Potties, and Tents. When they’re over, people pick up the trash and go home.

Occupy is famous for creepy chanting after every speaker finishes a sentence and a guy relieving himself against the side of a police car.  Some of the Occupy residents have, ironically, used the facilities of McDonalds and Starbucks and even took ironic shelter from the rain in a Bank of America ATM kiosk (I’m sure the irony is lost on them, though).  They loudly proclaim that “this is what Democracy looks like!”

Constitutional author James Madison would agree. In Federalist # 10 he wrote: “Hence it is that such democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property; and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their deaths.“ (more…)

Liberals Get Smoking Mad

by Tim Slagle

Pursuit of Happiness is my favorite unalienable right, and a cornerstone of American exceptionalism. No other Nation on earth has happiness written into its founding documents, so people from all over the world flood our borders trying to crash the party. But it seems that the agents of “Change” have stumbled onto a solution: by making America just as bleak and dismal as the rest of the world, they can make everyone stay home. Even the Department of Transportation is on the job.

My friend Louis took up electronic smoking about three years ago; partly because he was trying to quit, and partly because he was tired of going out into the cold Minneapolis winter, to huddle outside the restaurant with the other smokers after dinner.

It seemed like a perfect solution. electronic cigarettes offer the enjoyment of a smoke, without any of the nuisance. You don’t have to light one; it’s just a metal tube that releases a warm nicotine mist. There is even a little red light on the end, that glows when you draw in, so it looks like a cigarette.

It’s completely odorless and smokeless, and doesn’t have the carbon monoxide or tars that cause most of the health problems associated with cigarettes and second hand smoke. So there is no real reason for anybody to complain about electronic smoking.

I thought I might get one myself, because I enjoy the occasional cigar with a cocktail, and it would make a great drinking companion –especially on airplanes. I imagined myself flying across the country with a cigarette and Martini in classic Mad Men fashion. I started flying in an era when you could still book a seat in the smoking section; riding in a comforting veil of nicotine, as you contemplated all the things that could go wrong on a flight.

But Louis told me not to bother. I’m flying to Minneapolis to work at his club this week (Acme Comedy Company, Tuesday & Wednesday September 20 & 21) and he sent me this release. Apparently a lot of people have taken up electronic smoking to while away the hours; and the Department of Transportation aren’t happy.

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Obama Economy Creating Cuisine of Desperation

by Tim Slagle

America is the most prosperous nation the world has ever known. Any nation where obesity is considered an epidemic, cannot really claim to have a high poverty rate. In fact, during the middle ages, Heaven was often depicted as a place where everybody is fat.

I have a bit in my act where I’ve said as much: There is nobody starving in America. If there were, it would be in the papers. The last people I remember reading about actually starving the death in America, were Lindsay Lohan and Mary Kate Olsen. If there were really people starving in America, you wouldn’t see people in parks feeding the birds; in fact, you wouldn’t see birds.

So imagine my surprise, when a couple friends sent me this article. Apparently there is a group of people living in Brooklyn, who relies on stray animals for their sustenance. It is truly a vision reminiscent of the Great Depression, camps of poor people living on the fringes of society, being harassed by police.

As rounds of trillion-dollar stimulus failed to reinvigorate the economy, and have only served to create a debt crisis, I fear that there is still a bottom we have yet only grazed. Perhaps that is the ultimate plan of Michelle’s Childhood Obesity Program: to prepare parents of soon to be emaciated children by substituting their remorse, with a feeling of accomplishment.

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Repeal the War Power Usurpation

by Tim Slagle

Well, here we go again. Republicans scratching their heads, watching the Democrats run circles around them. It seems The Grand Old Party is always waiting for the chance to turn tables on the Democrats, and, it just never works out. When Democrats were in the Majority, the Press Loved the Democrats, so it was assumed when Republicans took over in 1994, that they would have the same close relationship. (Whoops.) Such naive trust is the kind, that loses great fortunes to Nigerian Princes.

When Republicans held the majority, they were civil with Democrats. They would give them important seats, seek their council on policies, and pass through every Democrat judicial nominee with respect; hoping that when they were in the minority again, they will be shown the same respect. (Whoops again.) No wonder Conservative ideas never gain any traction. They are as helpless as red-coated soldiers marching into the forest with pipes and drums blaring.

Now that Republicans have the majority back, and the President has initiated force in Libya, there was a futile hope that a Democrat President will respect the War Powers Resolution. (Whoops cubed. Fool me one time, shame on you; fool me twice, let’s go for three!) It was a mistake of perception. Despite the antiquated notion of equal treatment under the law, the War Powers Resolution wasn’t written for Democrat Presidents –it only applies to Republicans.

It all boils down to our differing views of law. While we see the Constitution as an inflexible document that outlines the sole authority under which the Federal Government can legally exist, the Democrats see it as six pages of enormous loopholes. To us, laws are inflexible orders that apply to everyone, regardless of their position in society; to Democrats they are nothing more than handy tools for leveraging a campaign donation out of a stingy donor. The Health Care waivers are good examples of this double standard; another is Al Gore’s private jet.

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Michelle Obama Is Rearranging the Nation’s Dinner Plates

by Tim Slagle

The USDA is once again inserting itself underneath the Constitutional sneeze-guard of the Tenth Amendment. In a publicity rich media event, Michelle Obama and the USDA introduced a new dietary guideline graphic: an illustration of a plate, divided into four basic food groups. It’s a replacement for the Food Pyramid; which was a replacement for the original USDA nutritional guidelines called: “the four basic food groups” (illustrated with a pie chart).

Also, to give the new guidelines a youthful appeal, it has been named MyPlate, an obvious reference to the hip new website: MySpace, which was abandoned by everyone hip, about five years ago; and is now populated by pathetic unknown bands, and creepy old pedophiles, soliciting cops posing as teenagers. (Perhaps the original title from the contemporarily-challenged USDA was “You’ve Got Meals.”) I imagine in ten years or so, the USDA will announce their new guidelines, called Platebook.

This reversion cost the taxpayers only two million dollars, just a little more than the original Food Pyramid which has been around since 1992, and cost the taxpayers 1.4 million inflation-adjusted dollars. The USDA has been telling Americans what they should be eating since 1923 when the Bureau of Home Economics established the 12 basic food groups at the height of the Prohibition Era, when obesity was a luxury.

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General Motors Accidently Tells the Truth

by Tim Slagle

There was a time when Chevy built cars and trucks. The Corvette and Camaro were legendary sports cars, and the Impala offered full size comfort a middle class price. But that was before Change came to town.  The brand that used to compare itself to Baseball, Hot-Dogs, and Apple Pie is no longer content to just make reliable vehicles, it is now as green as a wheatgrass and algae smoothie.

For instance, in the following commercial: Chevy isn’t just building cars anymore, it’s “investing” in windmills, and planting trees.

This is the kind of business model that you get when Leftists take over. Before 2008, GM just tried to make cars that people would buy, for a little more money than they cost to build. Now, they have to plant a forest.

It’s for reasons like this that General Motors is never expected to fully pay back the bailout money. According to the Congressional Oversight Panel, Taxpayers will lose about 19 billion dollars on the General Motors bailout.

That’s a lot of green. You can’t really blame General Motors. When you have an extra 19 billion to play with, why not plant windmills and trees? It seems like the corporate suites, are working on a bigger Buzz than the one they hired to do the voice-over. A more rational voice might ask about the forest that had to be cut down to print all that money.

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Washington Set to Control Your Light Switch

by Tim Slagle

Ever since this continent was electrificated, Americans have been allowed to plug anything they want into their own electrical outlet.

The history of electricity is a biography of modernism. Originally intended just to light homes, electric power was soon used to run sewing machines, fans, teakettles, and toasters. According to Dr. Rachel P. Maines the fifth electrical appliance to be invented, was a device to treat hysteria (which is used in more homes today, than sewing machines and electric teakettles). Shortly after hysteria was cured, electric irons and vacuum cleaners became feasible.

Following  the big war, came an explosion of things you could stick into an outlet: hair driers, electric drills, popcorn poppers, and television sets Not to mention, those goofy things that have a big belt and motor and are supposed to help you lose weight by jiggling your belly.

Today a home built only a generation ago is woefully inadequate for the number of appliances that need to find a plug. Hence, there has been a great market in power-strips. In my home office, (built in 1959) I actually have one outlet branching off into four different power-strips to handle all the appliances required of my profession.

Before the modern epoch, what you decided to plug in the privacy of your own home was an accepted civil right. If you’re willing to pay the bill, power it up. I have an old RCA refrigerator in my basement that uses far more electricity than a sleek new Korean import but it looks so cool, I don’t mind making my electric meter spin like a circular saw every time I restock it with beer.

A friend of mine, was so enamored with some of the waterfalls of Las Vegas that he built one in his back yard. It was a masterpiece of boulders and whitewater cascading across the 30-foot slope of his lakefront home. He used three high-powered electrical pumps to keep water churning down the hill at a spectacular rate of 25,000 gallons per hour. It took him months to build, but only one electric bill, to realize that it wasn’t a 24/7 attraction, and should only be activated on special occasions. The free market encourages conservation.

When President Bush signed The Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 we saw the first limits on which appliances we can use in our homes. (This bill is known by other names, such as the light bulb ban, or the 100 watt stockpiling act of 2012. It was spearheaded by GOP Rep. Fred Upton, who is this/close to assuming the Chairmanship of the Energy and Commerce Committee. That’s right, the GOP Rep who hates Thomas Edison is set to create energy policy for the whole country.) The law was necessary, because most Americans prefer incandescent bulbs. They are more aesthetically pleasing, and help heat your home in the winter. Most people believe the extra money spent is well worth the cost of electricity. After all, what is more economical than sitting in the dark?

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Totalitarian Recall

by Tim Slagle

The bigger the corporation the easier it is to hide in a cubicle doing absolutely nothing. There are working people, whose entire job requires little more than taking a slip of paper out of one slot and sticking it into the next.  That’s why short quick recessions are good for the economy; when profit margins get narrower than a liberals mind, companies start looking  for useless jobs to cut. Several rounds of lay-offs later, the two slots are merged, and the sheet of paper goes directly from one slot into the next. The most successful companies today have eliminated unnecessary corporate luxuries like the slot guy.

This never happens in the Federal Government, because recessions never mean cutbacks in Federal Land. Since the Government trend is constantly on the growth side, people have been shuffling papers through the slots for years. In fact long chains of cubicles have grown all over Washington DC where dozens of people pass a single sheet of paper from cubicle to cubicle, before it moves into the next office where it goes through another cluster of cubicles.

The best example of this government inefficiency was discovered after the recent egg recall. A salmonella outbreak caused at least 1500 Americans to become sick before half a billion eggs were removed from store shelves. Americans screamed for more Federal oversight of the food industry.

In a surprising September 10th Wall Stret journal article, we learned there was already plenty Federal oversight; it’s just that Federal oversight is remarkably incompetent. There were USDA workers watching the egg plant seven days a week.

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Obama’s Disease Threatens Our Future

by Tim Slagle

On the surface you would think there is nothing in common between Las Vegas and Washington DC, other than sharing a Nation where The Jersey Shore is a top rated TV show. One city was built on the profits of lawlessness, the other from the profits of law. But the recently proposed $50 Billion dollar stimulus plan suggests they are more similar than Kardashian sisters.

las-vegas-strip

Las Vegas has always astounded me. While I understand the allure of the big shows, bright lights, and wandering Elvis impersonators; I don’t understand the people who actually believe they’ll return from a Vegas vacation richer than they left.

Unfortunately, some look at Las Vegas as a career rather than a diversion; the ones who believe they have stumbled upon a system that will skew the odds in their favor. In turn they become unwilling contributors to an ever-growing spectacle of neon and debauchery.

The entire town was built on a foundation of these “systems.” All the marble waterfalls, the replicas of other cities, and the glass monoliths and pyramids; were financed by people who think they’re smarter than those who own the casinos.

Most of these systems are based on a nonsensical notion of justice in the cosmos. There is a belief in a mystical power that watches over us all, insuring that not everyone has a bad day. For every flat tire there is someone who was driving behind an armored car that forgot to shut it’s back door.  For every roasted dung beetle, there is an ice cream cone. For every Paris Hilton there is a Stephen Hawking.

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Restless Goalposts: Is NAACP Even Relevant?

by Tim Slagle

Thirty years ago, a group of mothers who had lost children to drunk drivers organized a group called MADD. They had a legitimate beef. There were too many drunks on the road.

ogco_naacp_0107

To Americans at the time, drinking and driving was a national pastime. We would routinely take risks that are unheard of today. More than one state would actually allow you to have an alcoholic drink in your hand while  you were behind the wheel. (The joke was that in Texas, it was mandatory.)

The MADD lobbying and national awareness effort was quite successful, and within a few years, drunk-driving accidents had been reduced. Terms like “designated driver” started to sweep the national zeitgeist. The comedy boom of the eighties (where I cut my chops) was fueled in part by the crackdown, since comedy made it possible to be entertained in a bar, without becoming profusely incoherent.

But then something strange happened. The Mothers didn’t stop being mad. Rather than celebrate their happy victory, they cracked down even harder. They promoted seat belt laws and roadblocks. In 2000 they lobbied to get the legal blood alcohol down to 0.08% ; a level that most competent drinkers could handle safely. Comedian Doug Stanhope once joked that he was a better driver at 0.08% than his grandmother was completely sober.

Meanwhile the percentage of drivers getting arrested kept increasing, to the point where the stigma of a DUI conviction was no longer negative. At cocktail parties, people will sometimes play a strange version of Liars Poker, where they compare each other’s court recorded BAC, to see who has the highest.

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Godwin’s Law II: ‘Racism’ Charge Loses Debate

by Tim Slagle

We owe a great favor to Mike Godwin. Those of us who have spent any amount of time arguing nonsense on the Internet are familiar with Godwins Law. Briefly, Godwins Law states: “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches … given enough time, all discussions —regardless of topic or scope —inevitably wind up being about Hitler and the Nazis.”

Bush-Hitler-300x255

The most wonderful aspect of Godwin is that “there is a tradition in many newsgroups, and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically ‘lost’ whatever debate was in progress.”

Now there are exceptions to Godwin, for instance when discussing Jesse James affair with Bombshell McGee, it would be quite difficult to not bring up Nazi references. As a student of Hayek, a personal beef I have, is that sometimes a political argument requires a comparison.

Friedrich A. Hayek believed, the infringements on Liberty caused by programs like National Health Care, or any other central planning, will inevitably lead to a totalitarian government that is indistinguishable from National Socialism, save for the logo on the armbands. However being held to Godwin is a rigorous discipline that forces me to plum the depths of my intellect, for an alternate metaphor when discussing issues with liberals.

I believe that Godwin also applied during the years of the Bush Administration. Their argument was lost when Code Pink and MoveOn started with the BusHitler remarks, and I think images of the current President sporting a Charlie Chaplin moustache should probably be discouraged as well.

But I think we should add another corollary to Godwins Law. I think that if you call your opponent a Racist, you have also lost the argument.

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Obama Needs Applause

by Tim Slagle

Like most people I didn’t expect a lot from the President during his oval office speech. What I got was a whole new look at the Candidate in Chief.

The first thing I noticed during the speech: I had never seen such an empty desk before., It was so clear, you could see all the dents in the desk, from where the previous presidents actually did some work.

Obama_Oval_Office_shrunk

Much has been made about how President Obama didn’t really seem comfortable in the speech, that he looked more like a visiting college student who got to sit in the big chair for a couple minutes. It could explain why his poll numbers have dropped faster than a bowling ball out a campaign bus window.

It was also only a one tele-prompter speech. Usually he has a two tele-prompter setup so his head moves back and forth, like he’s watching a beer pong game.

It was highly uncomfortable to watch. His eyes were locked on the teleprompter, and his hands never stopped moving. You weren’t even sure the guy reading, was the same guy who was moving the hands. It was almost like watching the cookie monster give an oval office address.

I look at it a different way: from a comedian’s perspective. I’ve played some fairly hostile crowds during my years on the road. But the one kind of crowd I cannot tolerate is a small one. I think most comics will agree that one of the most terrifying places you can perform is to an empty room. (Of course since I’ve become big and famous, that rarely happens to me anymore.)

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Congress Circles the Drain

by Tim Slagle

Well here we are in the middle of the worst economy in almost a century, wars on two fronts, and a monster oil spill turning our southern coast into asphalt. And what is Congress busy on? Solving gender discrimination in restrooms.

restrooms_center

Last month, the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee held hearings on the Restroom Gender Parity in Federal Buildings Act (H.R. 4869). If ever there has been an argument against a full time legislature, this was it; apparently our Legislature has  far too much time to kill.

It comes as no surprise to anyone who has ever seen the line outside the women’s room at a sporting event, or waited in a movie lobby with the other guys: women take longer in the restroom than men.

Rep. Elijah Cummings claimed that women are treated as second-class citizens. In the facilities I’ve seen, that is clearly it is not the case. Women’s facilities are always better. (Do women think we have sports bars in there?) Sometimes we don’t even have “toilets” just a wall with a drain at the bottom.

To hear some of America’s brightest minds discuss the situation you would think it’s a patriarchal plot to hold women down, by refusing to install adequate facilities in Federal buildings. That way when important bills are being voted on, women legislators would be waiting in line at the restrooms.

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Study: Normal, Healthy Children Outgrow Socialism

by Tim Slagle

“The adults are in charge now.” That was a much-repeated phrase after the 2008 election all around the Left.  It never seemed right to me; like when you’d overhear a thirteen-year old girl calling a boy “immature.”  But now there is scientific evidence of something I suspected long ago.

temper-tantrums

It doesn’t make sense that the party who stresses personal responsibility could really be less mature, than the party of entitlement. The entire Democrat platform is structured to give away things that most adults find for themselves.

Republicans thinks people are better of finding their own way in the world, the Democrats want a government who pays for college, gives them an allowance, and helps out with the groceries and rent. Things that we consider privileges, they consider rights. (Is the Left’s push for public transit really about the environment, or is it more like borrowing dad’s car on date night?)

The new health care bill will force health insurance companies to cover adults unable to leave their parents, which certainly doesn’t seem mature. On the bright side, 27 year old “children” still living with mom, will no longer have to make the difficult choice, between paying for Health Care, or unlimited texting.

Our protests are definitely more mature. At Tea Parties, we often pick up the trash that was left behind from the Earth Day rally. Leftist protests are full of screaming, rock throwing, and the ultimate end when the protesters drop on the floor and refuse to move, like a spoiled kid who has decided that he will not go to bed. Of course when the police finally take the protestors into custody they start kicking and screaming in full-on tantrum mode.

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The Black Guy in Chief

by Tim Slagle

As far as white people go, you couldn’t get much whiter than Teddy Kennedy. He was utterly luminescent. Running around in his boxer shorts, chasing the college girls his nephew William brought home that night, he must have appeared almost ghost-like. Yet when he proposed Nationalized Healthcare, we soundly rejected it.

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I can’t think of a bigger white cracker redneck than William Jefferson Clinton. He grew up in a trailer, and had a pick-up truck lined with Astroturf. While he was fooling around in the Oval Office, his wife tried to get Nationalized Health Care passed. America hated that idea so much, that we turned over the House and Senate to the Republicans for the first time in 40 years.

But now that Barack Obama has managed to shove a deplorable piece of questionably constitutional legislation through the corrupt purchasable legislature, we are tarred as racists for criticizing his actions.

We weren’t even allowed to hope he failed. That remark caused a lot of ruckus over the past year. For some reason if you don’t want the President’s agenda to pass, you are rooting against the Nation. Yet for eight years our opponents were allowed to get away with the remark: “I support the troops but I don’t support the mission.”

It always sounded kind of dumb to me, like “I support the Cubs, I just don’t want them to win the World Series” (and in my lifetime, they’ve yet to disappoint). Now when we on the Right say that we support the President, but not his policies, we are ignorant bigots. Which brings us around to the most common rationale you hear on the Left. “They’re only opposed to Barack Obama’s health bill, because they don’t want a black guy in the White House.”

I beg to differ.

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Freedom to Censor

by Tim Slagle

It always happens. When the mainstream media thinks they are on the heavy side of popular opinion they take a poll and run with it. In a recent poll by ABC and the Washington Post, they determined that 80% of America was opposed to the recent Supreme Court decision in Citizens United v. FEC.  I would have like to seen something much more relevant, like how many people know that the case before the Supreme Court was even called “Citizens United v. FEC?”

quiet

Because I’m fairly certain that that few people know anything about the decision. The 80% figure reflects more than public opinion, it reflects how well the mainstream media has been obfuscating the reality of the case.

Not that it’s relevant anyway. Despite popular opinion, America was never intended to be a Democracy. In the immortal words of James Madison: “…democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property; and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their deaths.” (Federalist #10)

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Obama’s Pet Goat Moment

by Tim Slagle

For the Left, one of the most defining images of the previous administration can be summed up in three words “ My Pet Goat.”

my-pet-goat

If you remember, when President Bush was informed of the second plane crashing into the World Trade Center, while his photo op with school children at the Emma  E. Booker elementary school was about to start. For the next several minutes, (much maligned by Michael Moore, in “Faranheit 9/11″) we saw a man confused by the situation. It has been joked about by comedians as him wanting to see how the story ended.

Every time I watch this footage, I always saw a strong man, who knew that twenty school children had looked forward to their chance to read to the President, for weeks. He decided they would not be disappointed. And knowing that this was an attack on the United States, the President did his best to neither disappoint nor alarm the children.

I’ve always imagined his narcissistic predecessor bolting straight out of the room and into a bunker, stepping over any children in his path. In reality, what could the President do? In that moment of confusion there really was nothing that could be done, other than have him sit there uncomfortably, and pretend that everything was normal. It takes a strong man not to flinch under adversity.

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EPA’s Next Priority: Meat Control?

by Tim Slagle

The really nice thing about having left-wing comedy hosts is that Democrat officials have absolutely no problem appearing on their talk shows. It’s really nice to have these people interviewed in a comfortable non-confrontational setting, because the darndest things will come out.

Bill Maher in a rare hard-nosed moment, presses EPA administrator Lisa Jackson to answer a tough question about whether the EPA intends to regulate meat. After she dodges the question, Bill asks it again.


Now I could be wrong, because she was stuttering badly, but didn’t the United States EPA Administrator say that she is looking into Meat Control? She certainly advocated a restriction on food grown outside of the US.

But MEAT CONTROL? I’ve met a lot of vegetarians in my travels. I don’t really care about those who practice it themselves, although I often question their logic. I look at vegetarianism as a sort of religion, and have no problem with it being practiced in the privacy of one’s own cat-filled home. But in America we have a separation of church and state, and if you intend to force me to conform to your religious dietary restrictions, I’m going to make a little noise.

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