In the wake of President Obama asking America’s richest and most successful to do their patriotic duty and contribute their fair share to our Nation, more and more are refusing to be content with merely ostentatiously asking to have their taxes raised. The hot new trend in Democrat circles is taking personal action to show patriotism through concrete actions and real sacrifice.
“I had a net worth of $200 million, so I wrote a check to the federal government for $199,999,900!” said high tech legend Frank Spindleman. The big-time Democratic contributor and pioneer in the field of foreign Internet drug store spam was inspired by the President’s call to action. Sitting in the open door of his new home, a beige 1973 Ford panel van parked down by the river, Spindleman is proud that he put his money where his mouth was.
Merely raise my marginal rates a little? That’s nothing to me. I wanted to really make a difference, so I gave the country everything. Sure, it’s a little less comfortable here than my mansion, and I’ve got fewer and lower quality hookers hanging around, but it’s worth it for the personal pride I feel in not being one of those loudmouth jerks pretending to sacrifice in order to impress the media!
One of the founders of leading Internet search engine Gaggle felt the same. Chet Vingly sold off his 401’ yacht, his Ferrari collection and his prized unicorn herd and sent all his cash to Uncle Sam.
I was listening to the President at a Beverly Hills fundraiser and lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills when it hit me – he was right! The people who rely on government support – cowboy poets, performance artists, people who have better things to do than supporting themselves – these are the people we need to really focus on. They deserve my money, not me. I only earned it, but they really, really want it. So, I think it’s pretty clear who’s entitled to it.
But for some, just giving away all their money isn’t enough. Democratic impresario and synergy industry mogul Lance Gordon gave up his corporate jet. He’ll be taking no more trips to his houses in Hawaii and Martha’s Vineyard.
Thanks to the President’s warnings about the threat posed by global warming deniers, I bike everywhere now. I mean, if you really, really believe that the science is settled and that climate change is real, you’ll absolutely stop flying around on private jets. I’d be an incredible hypocrite if I believed in global warming but still jetted everywhere. People would look at me and wonder why, if global warming was such a threat, all I was doing about it was having my butler separate my garbage into trash and recyclables. Heck, if I was such a blatant poser jerk as that I couldn’t look myself in the mirror.
But for some prominent and wealthy liberals, President Obama’s inspiring call to patriotism demanded even more sacrifice. Steve Berkley was a big-time Democratic bundler and the owner of the ubiquitous Buckstar’s Coffee shops.
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